Friday, February 1, 2008

Stand By Your Man?

I am embarrassed for the city of Detroit but I am more embarrassed for women. What's up with these wives who repeatedly apologize for their cheating husbands and vow to stand by them? This seems to happen a lot for political wives: Hillary Clinton, the wife of Larry Craig, the wife of the New Jersey governor who came out of the closet (she did wise up later), and now the wife of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

View the video of his apology with his wife here

I just don't get it. Why endure not only the humiliation of your spouse having cheated on you but also looking like an idiot sitting by his side asking for the public to forgive him and to give you the space to deal with his infidelity? It's not like he accidentally hit someone in a car crash. I mean really, if she's getting paid to be the dutiful wife, couldn't she just as easily get paid through alimony and child support? And from unfortunate personal experience, I know this doesn't just happen with the wives of public figures. A few years back I was a ridiculous stereotypical cliche: the other woman (one of many) to a married man who claimed he loved me and was getting a divorce. Yeah, I know. This was a very unfortunate period in the life of City Girl and under NO circumstances would I ever support a single woman's decision to be with a man who is married even if he is separated and no matter how much he claims to love you. Just a bad decision all around - dangerous, costly, and draining. I know.
Anyway, this dude was in no way rich or famous but his wife stood by him. Here's an excerpt of an email she sent me after he told her about the affair:

"He has made a mistake and I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt anyone. I am giving you a heartfelt apology that you have been emotionally hurt behind this. Just know we are all hurting. I will love [Mr. DJ] forever! If you care and "love" [Mr. DJ] as much as you say you do, please allow him the time and space to heal, recover and get over this difficult time in his life."

Funny how the same words were used by Kwame and his wife. And from my perspective, how is it that the "other woman" always gets swept under the rug as this "mistake" and product of a "difficult/vulnerable" time in these men's lives? And why is the marriage all of a sudden treated like this holier than thou institution when the dude gets caught? Pure bullshit!

If I get married, dude will have to haul ass if found cheating. To the left to the left!
What reasons could exist for this strange "wife" behavior other than large sums of money? Not only can I feed and clothe myself, I can also please myself in a moment's notice if need be. So, if anyone can help me understand this strange phenomenon, please let me know. Staying together for your children? Well, as my friend Leah pointed out, the children will just grow up knowing their daddy was a ho and their moma was a fool. Instead of standing up for these men, women need to start standing up for themselves!

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