Looking Forward

Well hello again blogosphere! Yeah, I know. It's been awhile. That's life for ya. Let's just say I've been inspired by the arrival of fall. I used my rainy day off today to hang out in one of my favorite neighborhood spots, Azi's Cafe. This was exactly what I needed. I love this place and Azi herself (so sweet!). And I always know I can get a perfect cup of coffee. The Miriam Makeba CD playing made me realize what's missing from my iPod. I caught up on the latest haps by flipping through the City Paper and tearing out pages that interest me; it's one of my favorite past times. I began to think about all the things I'm looking forward to:

• Sade's tour this summer. First tour in ten years? Wouldn't miss it. How cool that she kicks off so close in Baltimore at the Mariner Arena!
• Fall boots, bags, and vegetables. I love fall vegetables: sweet potatoes, turnips, squash...farmer's markets here I come, sporting my new fall boots!
• The opening of Rogue 24 in Shaw. A great restaurant less than a block away from my place is very exciting.
• Shopping for a new mattress. It's official: I'm old. I've been sleeping on a pitiful mattress for years now and the effect is taking its toll. This irritable, body-aching, like I haven't slept at all feeling when I wake up has got to stop. Mattress shopping will begin this weekend.
• A vacation - anywhere. Ok, not anywhere. Visiting my family is not a vacation and the last time I was in Jersey, a bear was on the loose. Oh no!
• And last but not least, Derek's blow-out birthday party this weekend. He refuses to tell my how old he is (yes, he is gay) but I'm thinking, 39? All I know is that I need to prepare for a serious hangover the next day!

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Discovery Channel: How Bad is Your Programming?

I am extremely relieved that the hostage situation at the Discovery Channel's headquarters resulted in no one being hurt other than the guy taking hostages. But I also have to admit that this fact makes me feel less guilty joking about the irony of it all. My teenage niece called it "old school" because these days you rarely hear about hostages being taken. These crazy gun-toting people usually just shoot a bunch of people and then shoot themselves. And who would ever think of protesting bad TV by taking hostages and demanding that a network change its programming? I have been meaning to post a rant about how tired and perplexed I am of TLC's obsession with big ass families. I mean really, the idea of 19 kids just seems gross and irresponsible. A commercial for one of these shows has a woman saying, "The cost of raising these five babies is huge!" No shit. Who told these people to have so many kids? Apparently the gunman believed that Discovery was promoting overpopulation. What seems more accurate to me is their promotion of reproductive planning for dummies. What genius came up with the I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant show? I haven't seen it but have heard stories about babies falling out of woman's uterus at the mall, on a roller coaster, anywhere - all for the camera to see. That's just sick.
I can only hope Discovery will reevaluate its programming after the hostage incident but I doubt it. At least now I can watch What Not to Wear over on the Planet Green channel.

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Summer Produce from Mom

This past weekend was spent uncharacteristically at home, cooking. No, I haven't suddenly become a suburban housewife. I was actually really enjoying my solitude and being thankful for having such a great mom. My mom has been growing vegetables this summer and had an overabundance of produce. Even though she's only about four hours away, she knows how lazy I can be when it comes to packing a bag and getting on a bus. So, what did she do? She overnighted me a care package filled with beautiful tomatoes, basil, and zucchini! I've actually never gotten food in the mail, much less fresh produce! There was no way I was letting this stuff go bad so I immediately put my brain to work and hopped on the Internet in search of recipes. With an existing variety of staple pantry items, I now have no need to eat out or order delivery for quite a while. Of course, I will eat out but it's nice to have a fridge full of options.

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Step Up 3D

Last night I went to a free screening of the movie Step Up 3D, which opens on Friday. I went with my DJ/dancer friend Baxter and if it were not for him, I would not have even known about this movie. I'm not a frequent movie-goer and was apprehensive about the possibility of being in a theater with a bunch of kids. But I figured it would be something to do. And I also hadn't seen a movie in 3D since I was a kid.
Luckily we had cocktails before the movie because this was one of the corniest movies I've ever seen. I'm talking Disney corny. Scenes that were supposed to be serious got laughs from the audience. My favorite moment was when one of the characters was informed that he was BFabb - Born From a Boom Box. Ok, what the hell is that? I think it was explained but I must have been laughing too hard to hear it. On the plus side, the movie has a lot of energy and there were some interesting dance moves. But what I would be excited about is a Daniel Craig or Bourne Identity movie, or even the NBA in 3D. Yes, please!

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Things Men Say

I can't believe July is already over and I've survived the severe heat and humidity of July in DC. One thing I did smarter this year was not even attempting to blow dry my hair in this weather. I may not have gotten smarter about men but I survived my crazy experiences with them. Here's just a sample of the crazy (or funny) things I've heard from the mouths of men this month:

• I haven't worn underwear since '97. -Local singer/songwriter
• I call tattoos on women 'tramp stamps'. -Recent transplant from Boston
• For $750 million I would be a straight woman. -Gay guy friend on the Tiger Woods divorce
• Not sure why, but I find you interesting. -Guy asking for my number at a bar
• I masturbate almost every day. What can I say, I think I'm sexy. -Video editor friend
• I have the best excuse ever for not calling: I had a stroke. -Guy I went out with last year and ran into on the street
• And while he said it many years ago, I just heard Jenny Sanford tell Oprah recently that her ex-husband Mark Sanford told her that he didn't want the word 'faithful' in their wedding vows. That worked out well.
  

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Dude, Really?

The good thing about being single is that generally when a relationship is over, it's over. You can completely cut ties with the person. And especially when a relationship ends badly, you're very grateful for that fact. I was very happy to be done with a guy I dated a few months ago but unwisely had occasional sex with him. What can I say, we had strong physical chemistry. But about a month ago, I made the decision not to do that either and was truly cutting ties. I was trying to wipe the slate clean for something better. Good for me, right? Well, apparently this wasn't good enough for someone - his PREGNANT WIFE! Yes, this past weekend I got that crazy psycho call every single woman fears. Fortunately (or, maybe not) for me, I wasn't afraid because I've been there before several years ago. However, back then the circumstances were of the stereotypical kind: naive girl knows the guy is married, he claims he's not happy and the wife is a horrible person, and girl believes that he will leave like he claims. But I learned my lesson and knew I would never fall into that trap again. With all the other really ridiculous man-drama I experienced since, I figured I'd gotten my fair share of karma.
So, this was somewhat of a shock for several reasons. For one thing, I met several members of this guy's family, including his parents. I was at his parent's home (where he lived) several times. For a while we were spending so much time together that it was almost like we were living together. So, where was the wife during all of this? According to her, she arrived in the U.S. permanently several months ago. His response to this nonsense, including how she got my phone number: nothing. And surely his family was involved in this marriage. Um, could you have let me in on this bullshit? If there was a limit on the number of WTF?'s a person gets, I would have surpassed it now by a million.
Now I know this may sound ethnocentric, but I may need to add a category to the Who Not to Date List: men who are culturally different. Even though this guy, like his gazillion siblings, has spent the majority of his life in the U.S., we were just way too different. He was completely immersed in his family's life: lived with them, worked for them, socialized with them. They had a lot of control over him and I just didn't get it. I mean really, 6am phone calls from your mother? I don't' think I'm supposed to get any of this. All I know is that I'm starting to think that the years women spend dating in DC are like dog years. I may have to retire from dating altogether if I don't want to end up a senior citizen next year.

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One of Those Days

This was truly one of those days when I am happy just to be home. It started off bad. Suffering from another bout of insomnia, I woke up late only to realize that I forgot to buy coffee beans over the weekend. This is not good for someone like me who needs to be plugged up to an IV of caffeine as soon as I wake up. I knew it would be raining but I forgot my umbrella of course, in my rush to get to work. And of course, when I left work it was pouring outside. I ran back in and asked someone in the office if there was a spare umbrella. The only one he could find was a child's mickey mouse umbrella with ears! Well, beggars can't be choosers. On my way to the train I get several funny looks and I finally yell at someone, "It's not my umbrella!" I got off the train at Dupont Circle to meet Mitch for dinner at Thaiphoon. I didn't eat lunch so I was starving. When I exited the train there was a burning smell in the station and we were told that the north side was closed because of a fire. As luck would have it, the escalators were not working so there's a massive crowd waiting to make the trek up. I finally made it out of the station only to notice that Mitch, being the hysterical queen that he is, has sent me a million texts asking where I am. At Thaiphoon, I ordered pad thai and as I began to dig in, to my horror I noticed a long hair weaved in with my noodles. What the hell! I completely lost my appetite. I was tired and just wanted to go home at that point. After Mitch dropped me off at my door and drove off, I shuffled through my purse and realized that I didn't have my keys. Hell no! The image of my keys sitting on my desk at work immediately popped in my head. And just as this realization hit, it also starts to rain again - hard. The umbrella with the ears? I left it back at Thaiphoon. Luckily, my landlord lives nearby so it didn't take too long to get in my apartment. There's a Mad Men marathon on and a bottle of wine with my name on it! Home sweet home.

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Random Thoughts on Metro at 4:45 pm on a Thursday

I made the unfortunate decision of going out to Bethesda via Metro to do a little shopping on my day off at 4:45 pm on a Thursday. These were some of my thoughts:

• Why the hell do people pack themselves into Metro cars like sardines during the evening rush hour? This is especially ridiculous during a heat wave in July! In the morning I get it. You don't want to be late for work and every minute counts. But in the evening, when these government geeks are most likely doing nothing more than going home to a TV dinner and there's another train in two minutes, what's the point? And I don't care how long you showered or how much scented stuff you sprayed or slapped on your body that morning, by the end of the work day I don't want to be packed up against a bunch of folk. It's just plain funky!
• With yet another Metro fare increase, all I'm left to ask is: wtf? I mean really, has service improved? Are escalators being fixed? Will buses run on schedule? Will employees stop texting or sleeping while operating trains and buses? Are the trains actually any safer after last year's crash?
• Why don't more employers utilize telecommuting? And does every office worker really need to work from 9 to 5?
• On my left: rather obese woman with huge wedding ring holding the hand of a hot guy with a buzz cut. Both appear to be in their twenties. My take: they are a young married couple from the Midwest who met in high school and he's in the military. That just doesn't happen in DC. Guys in DC aren't even trying to marry women who like models with six-figure salaries. And yes, in his back pocket is a museum brochure. Tourists!
• Guy in front of me: why do men with frontal balding let the hair in the back continue to grow no matter how bad it looks? This guy had stringy gray hair in the back of his head that was almost at his ass. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?
• Woman on my right: appeared to be in her late 50's, holding a nylon lunch bag, head in hand and rubbing her forehead. Oh yeah, she knows exactly how many days until retirement.
• I'm often surprised bars aren't more crowded during happy hour. My choice for the next Mayor: the candidate who believes in the necessity of granting an alcohol allowance to every DC worker as much as I do. What else is DC government doing with my taxes?

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Settling in DC

Back in February 2008, I blogged about my reaction to Lori Gottlieb's article in the Atlantic Monthly about single women and settling for Mr. Good Enough. I remember how pissed off and somewhat offended I was by the idea. Last night I attended the discussion of her new book, "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" at Sixth and I. I haven't read the book but was interested in hearing her talk about these ideas and hear what others thought. My biggest problem with the article was that the basic premise appeared to be that marriage to a man, no matter how boring or physically unappealing, is always a better option for women, especially those who want children, than being alone. Aside from the fact that I think DC just doesn't have a marriage culture, I think the premise calls into question whether the traditional family really is the best and/or only choice for women today, particularly those who live and work in big cities like DC.

One of my favorite quotes in the article is, "Marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business." For the women I know in DC and probably for many others, this is not the kind of marriage they are willing to sign up for. Many of these women are actually running their own nonprofit businesses and don't want a tedious, mundane spouse to come home to. As a lot of women have already done, why not reconfigure life for ourselves in a way where we do get all of our needs met without having to establish a traditional family. Because as many married women know and research has shown, women get much less from marriage than men do. Like many women in their 20's, I used to think I wanted to be married and have children. So I asked myself last night, what is it that I would really want from marriage and being a parent? What I came up with was: love, companionship, sex, and being involved in a child's life. When it comes to the love and companionship, I already get that from my friends and family. They also provide me with a rather fulfilling social life. The sex I can always get from a guy I actually do find physically appealing. And kids? Well, there all sorts of ways to be involved with a child that don't involve marriage: mentoring, hanging out with the children of friends and families, adoption, sperm donor, or even joint custody with a stable guy you know. Kind of like car sharing. Of course, these things may not satisfy all of our needs like maybe, the desire for romantic love. But I've begun to realize that romantic love isn't all its cracked up to be. The older I get the more it seems like an immature, manufactured notion. Me, jaded? Maybe. But anyway, the point is that I think modern women have no reason to feel forced to choose a lifestyle that doesn't fit.

And in DC, why settle for a mediocre cocktail? After the book discussion I headed straight to the Passenger where Nick Brown mixed up a lavender mint daiquiri for me (right). I noticed that on Sundays they're doing a hangover brunch that lasts all day. Now that's genius!

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No Exceptions

I know I've said this before but as time and age creeps on, one thinks that exceptions may apply but - hell no! When it comes to the , "Who Not to Date List", there are no exceptions. Seriously, law enforcement dudes are a no-no, especially for DC cops. Here's a text message exchange with a cop I met on the street recently. And please, remind me why I gave him my number. Drunk, horny, stupid, what? And yes, this is the exact wording.

Him: What's up, watch u up to?

Me: Nothing much

Him: Invite me over I'm bored watching tv

Me: My apt is a wreck. Wanna go for a walk?

Him: (after 20 minutes) Not 2nite got court in the mornin

Me: but didnt u just ask me to invite you over???

I got no response from him. Huh? Am I really supposed to be that stupid as to not recognize a booty call? Why don't men just ask for sex these days? It's much less insulting to a woman's intellect. Ok, so you don't really want to get to know me. You want to come to my place and hit it. Just say that. That way I can say yes or no and not feel like you think I'm a total idiot.

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Things Change and Stay the Same

I'm now officially on vacation from everything and have had time to collect some of my thoughts. The last two months have revolved around my regular job, the freelance thing, travel, and figuring out what city other than DC this City Girl should be living in. The where to live part has required some ongoing introspection. I have also felt rather uninspired (and somewhat guilty) about the whole "city girl living in DC" yet writing a blog thing. I mean really, if I'm trying to get the hell out, what do I have to say? Well, as life goes, I end up experiencing all kinds of crazy things I only would in DC that make me question my quest to leave or at least the reasons why.
In no important order:

The Town and Country in the Mayflower Hotel: 5 years ago I worked 3 blocks away and this was a regular happy hour stop for me and several co-workers. Haven't been since then. I stopped in last month and Sam, the infamous bartender, is still doing magic tricks and mixing up the best martinis in town. I was greeted with, "Welcome back. We missed you." How is that for service?

What I didn't know before moving to DC: I love interesting things in a bowl, particularly noodles with stuff. Variations consist of: pho, curry laksa, gamjatang, congee, udon noodle soup....Well, DC Noodle has fed my craving lately with their spicy noodle soup complete with ground peanuts, cilantro, bean sprouts, scallions, and two types of tofu - crispy and soft. Delicious!

Acadiana and TenPenh have two of the best patios in the city - breezy and comfortable. TenPenh even has a Sunday night happy hour from 5:30 until close. This is great for those of you who want to avoid the 9 to 5 crowd and have cocktails and small bites like kobe beef sliders later in the evening.

Shopping Euphoria - The Denim Bar at Pentagon Row. As many women know, shopping for jeans can be a traumatic experience. This place takes all the trauma away - even for a curvy girl like me. And yes, the word 'bar' is for real. I walked in, told the salesperson my dilemma, and was immediately offered a glass of wine while he quickly found jeans suited for me. Jeff was amazing. He demanded (I love forceful men!) that I come out as I tried on each pair for an evaluation. I ended up with a pair of Paige jeans that were perfect for work and partying.

How does marriage and motherhood give women automatic entry into sainthood/super-significance? And why do women validate this craziness? Beyonce, half-naked dancing on a stage, dates a man who "puts a ring on it." Crazy groupies on Basketball Wives are supposedly in a special club all their own because they have gotten married to the lying, cheating athlete. My own past ex-Mr. DJ marries a stripper and all of a sudden I'm the whore because I fooled around with him. More recently, I had a man declare, as I was kicking his ass out, that he would have "wifed" me. Is that even a word we are accepting now? That is, of course, if I had not been such a bad girl. What the hell?

Don't ever date a townie. A rule I should have learned years ago. Absolutely no one who has grown up in and has immediate family in DC, Maryland, or Virginia. Hey, these are things college women learn.

Seems as if there will never be another Red nightclub. I appreciate U Street Music Hall but as a house music head, it just leaves me wanting more. And really, who are these completely uncoordinated yuppies who knock drinks and you on the ground as they so-call dance?

I would never advise a woman who wanted to get married and have children to move to DC. Odds are, you just won't find that guy here. You can go out on dates with men from 25 to 80 all day, everyday (as I did recently all in one night). But get married and establish a family? Not likely.

Amazing art/music events like AudioTrip two weeks ago. DJ Spinna, Rich Medina, and live art, right up the street from me? Come on!

I have never truly been bored in DC. There is always something to do - or drink!

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Are You There Spring? It's Me, City Girl DC

I was beginning to believe that this year's weather was truly going to signify the end of the world. With unprecedented snowfall, the start of summer in April was not looking good to me. Fortunately, spring has returned and it is one of my favorite things about DC - that is, except for my spring allergies. For all you people who claim to love your health insurance the way it is, explain to me why my allergy medication is not covered at all by a major carrier. I've had allergy problems all of my life and I'm allergic to just about everything in nature, which explains why I'm not living in the country and don't like camping or any other wilderness-related activity. I've tried everything out there and I'm happy that some of these medications are now available over the counter. But as allergy sufferers know, it is very common to become immune to some brands over time. The only one that works for me right now is Allegra D, and it is still prescription only. But $40 for 10 pills is ridiculous! Between my allergies and the heat, I got no sleep this past week. But I knew it was spring for sure when the tourists rolled in. Every year it's the same and every year I'm annoyed. They have their children playing on the Metro escalators like they're at an amusement park, clog up the streets during rush hour with strollers, and somehow wind up in neighborhood restaurants where I never see kids. Could someone please tell me what hotel is directing these Midwesterners to Logan Tavern? Derek and I almost fell off our bar stools laughing when a rather chubby dad walks in wearing an undershirt, what appeared to be boxer shorts, and slip-on crocs. He looked around and said, "let's go somewhere else." Shame on you hotel concierge! Popeyes is just up the street.

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Gay Straight Men

I used to think I knew exactly what the term "Gay Straight Men" meant. I now realize it's more than being metrosexual or an odd sexual tendency, or a feminine mannerism I can clearly detect. It's the man who engages in weird gossipy he said/she said bullshit and thinks it's a one-upmanship contest. If I were in my twenties maybe I would care but at this point in life I find it sad and pathetic that a guy I'm no longer interested in would resort to engaging in information gathering with another guy I was never interested in and then call me up to tell me shit that's barely half true in order to get back at me. The really weird thing is that while I was initially upset, I became increasingly intrigued by the idea that anybody could be talking about me like I'm some kind of celebrity. I started to love it actually. I feel famous almost. Hmmm...how many more men do I need to sleep with to make it on TMZ?

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Random Wednesday

At some point very soon, I will force time to slow down and not allow spring to fly by like a whirling dervish as it did last year and the year before, etc. and allow me to think clearly. Oh, how I wish I could. In the meantime, I only have random thoughts.

• I realized the power of our thoughts, which I need to remember for more important stuff: Two weeks ago I was on a date at Utopia listening to jazz and couldn't keep my eyes off the drummer. So cute! But he must be a baby, I thought. Unfortunately, I was much more interested in him than my date. Last night, said drummer approaches me at Patty Boom Boom and says he's seen me many times around town and was interested. We engage in a great conversation and flirt heavily. A date has been planned. And yes, he is a baby (24!), but oh well.
• What does a girl want? A 100 calorie cocktail, that's what! PS7s has just that. The other day I had the Skinny Gnome and was in love. I'm a gin drinker and love cucumber so this was the drink for me. Mixologist, Gina Chersevani is amazing!
• Why do sex phrases revolve around men being in power: bang, nail, screw, feed the clam (not my term)? How about, wrestling the snake? At least the woman is active.
• At a recent conference I met a guy at the hotel bar who said with the sincerest of eyes, that he "lives for the cuddle" - but only after sex. Lol. Interesting tactic for enticing women into bed! After hearing my dating history he also said that I take advantage of crazy men for sex. Well, that's a fresh new perspective.
• I'm absolutely loving my new Conair Mega Ceramic blow dry paddle brush. Where has this brush been all my life? For someone who has thick hair, I'm amazed at how this brush has cut down my blow dry time.
• How crazy is it that a blogger was threatened with legal action over a comment on her blog? I hate stupid shit. Won't be patronizing Du Vin de Bullshit. Power to UStreetGirl and all bloggers!
• Healthcare for all!!!

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Catching Up

I feel like the fog has finally lifted from the chaos that had become my life and I can actually breathe. The nice spring-like weather has certainly helped. And sure enough, the month of March has remained true to form. As I posted last year, the men are out and I'm juggling dates. While I haven't felt sparks with any of these guys so far, the good thing is that I'm getting a chance to try out a lot of places on my list. Yes, I know I'm late but I finally had dinner at Masa 14. We tried about ten different dishes and I can't say I'm a big fan of the food. The barbecued salmon and pork tan tan noodles were my favorites but they were just ok. This is not the place I'd go if I were hungry. But the atmosphere and bar list are great so I would definitely meet up here with friends for drinks. Last Saturday I met the same guy at Patty Boom Boom. I had been anxiously awaiting this place. I unfortunately forgot how much I dislike going out in DC on the weekend. At 10pm, this place was packed and I just wasn't feeling the crowd. The guy at the door suggested we come back on Tuesday when there's a live band. And that's exactly what I did. This time I was with a new guy and the atmosphere was much better. I loved the rum punch and the jerk goat patty but I thought the bass was just too overwhelming for the band. Don't get me wrong, I love bass but just not at the expense of enjoying the music. A few days later, I had a very relaxed evening with yet another guy at Room 11. I almost forgot how eager I was to try this place when I read about it a few months ago. I fell in love almost immediately. The place is indeed small but rustic and cozy - perfect for a date. I loved my food and the wine selection is great. We finished the evening at Passenger's Columbia Room. As I imagined, this place is fabulous. I can't even think of a better place to have cocktails. With all the activity lately, I am all too happy to spend this weekend catching up on laundry!

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Amidst Chaos

I love a pleasant surprise. This past week was chaotic in ways I can't and don't want to go into. Let's just say I survived. And through it all, there was a ray of hope. In addition to my normal work schedule, I took on some contract work that needed to be done in just a week. Broke girl needs work - she'll do it. So, I was exhausted and delirious, which of course means I made bad decisions like thinking I could relieve stress with an ex. Not. Why didn't someone warn me!!! The good thing is that as DC conferences go, there's always interesting people to meet. Lucky for me I met some folks from Barbados who now have me convinced that I should be living there. I may not go that far but I will definitely visit this summer, hopefully for carnival. This extended winter season in DC has been enough to speed up my search for my happy place.

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Twitter as Matchmaking Service

I just discovered an interesting latent function of Twitter, well at least for me: it can be used to weed out people you thought you might be interested in. I'm not a Facebook person but I'm sure that's also a good way. But what I think is even better about Twitter is that you get these quick little sound bytes into someone's personality, almost like speed dating. It's very spontaneous and makes you think hard about getting in exactly what you want you to say in 140 characters or less. And how did I realize this? Well, of course, because I started following someone I thought I might be interested in. Now I don't have to wonder. Thank you little, chirping blue bird!

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LOVE

Love is:
My friends
My family - no matter how much they get on my nerves
Having my own version of gamjatang in the fridge
Sade coming out with a new CD just when I needed it most
A DJ who makes me dance my ass off
Letting go of old patterns/ways of seeking love
My Blog/Twitter connections - who knew?
Starting over
Accepting what is
This song: You Gave Me Love (Unreleased Mix), Kenny Bobien, Basement Boys Anthology Disc 2
A heart that has not given up on love

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Winter Wonderland in DC

I'm actually trying to invoke one of my New Year's resolutions to be more positive in my thinking by not naming this post, The Blizzard of 2010, like every news show has done. Winter Wonderland sounds so much better. At this age, I would never even bother trying not to be sarcastic, which is why I really love the Twitter names swirling around: Snowoverit, Snowverkill, SnOMG, etc. But looking at these pictures (courtesy of my friend Jake in Bloomingdale), you can't help to see the beauty in all of this snow. And of course, hope it goes away soon!

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Snowed In

With all the snow in DC this season I'm starting to feel like I'm back in the Midwest where I grew up. I didn't like cold, snowy weather then and don't like it now. After eight years here, I still find it a little funny how this city seems to overreact to what is considered normal snowfall elsewhere. I mean really, the grocery store situation was ridiculous. Actually, buying up the entire store like the world is coming to an end makes way more sense for the few people like me who hate the grocery store and only buy a few things when they do go. But for most people, especially suburbanites who are at Walmart, Target, Costco and every other chain store every weekend, I just don't get it. You can't tell me those people didn't have food and toilet paper at home. Anyway.... So, rather than sit around my place and think about cleaning, and dwell on useless shit (will I ever find love; if I should move to Europe, cut off all my hair, take up smoking, and give myself a cool new name; why there are so many cake shows on TV; etc.) I decided to pack an overnight bag and hang out at my friend Jake's place all weekend (where I'm writing this post). If it weren't for my guy friends I think I would seriously start to believe that men weren't human. Still mildly nursing a breakup wound, Jake has supplied plenty of alcohol, chocolate liqueurs (who knew Jack Daniels and chocolate would be good), frozen junk food, movies, and tons of music including DJ mixes he's downloaded (right now I'm listening to Restricted Access #23 from Timmy Regisford). While Brazil would be an ideal escape from the Blizzard of 2010, I'm in a pretty good place right now. I hope everyone stays safe and warm!

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Failure to Launch

Between being back at my old job and getting reacquainted with that stress, and experimental dating, I almost forgot I had a blog. Leave it to me to awaken from my Lovahville slumber to the realization that I'm with Failure to Launch Guy. I'm beginning to think that if I keep dating, I will have met every loser guy character in a movie and on Sex in the City. My biggest beef with this one is that unlike in the movie, I was not being paid by his parents to get him to leave their house. Maybe I should have suggested that to them. He actually believed that they liked having him around and that out of several other siblings, he was the favorite. Well gee, why else would he be the only adult child still at home. While the mother seemed content using her 39 year old son as an errand boy, the father had completey given up and didn't even speak the times I saw him. Yes, he actually thought trips to his parent's house qualified as dates. The last straw was when he suggested that I do my laundry there. Let's see, I'm not in college anymore and those aren't even MY parents! At one point he told me that his mom wasn't speaking to him because he was spending so much time with me. Can we spell freaky? Oh, and I can't forget how he was always borrowing a family member's car, which he had to quickly return to the suburbs the next day. Probably the biggest benefit of all that extra money he saved not paying rent was being able to use it for his toy helicopters. And no, I'm not kidding. He had several that he even tried to fly around my tiny apartment. Yes, at this point you've got to be saying I was crazy for sticking it out as long as I did. Well, to be honest, I was getting a cheap thrill out of seeing just how bad it could get. I didn't really believe this guy was serious. I do love a good story, even at the expense of my own sanity. And I did get the funniest line I've heard in a long time from him. When I finally ended it, he reassured me that there was "a gang of broads" that wanted to fuck him. I didn't even know guys still used the term 'broads' anymore. My sister, who is now separated after 20 years and dating again, tried to one-up me with her story of a guy bringing a bottle of Nutcracker liquor on a date. At least he came with an offering.

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Thankfulness and Hope

When tragedies like the Haitian earthquake take place, it's hard for me not to get sucked into a sadness that makes me cry whenever I turn on the news. Outside of donating in as many ways as I can, I also feel pretty much useless. But I'm learning this year more than ever that if I focus on being thankful for what I have, I do myself and those around me, a much greater service. One of my New Year's resolutions is to stop stressing and complaining so much, especially over minor stuff, and be happy in each moment. Given that tragedy can happen to any of us at anytime, it seems a necessity even. As an American, it's often easy to forget about how difficult others, like Haitians, have it every day. But the good thing is that this situation has pointed out and/or reminded us that things many of us take for granted like clean water, stable living structures, and emergency services don't exist for a lot of people. And as a result, we can begin to make things better. I'm also hopeful at the outpouring of support, help, and aid provided in all sorts of creative ways, by ordinary people. So, while I may be redundant, here are some ways the good people of DC are trying to help in the Haitian relief efforts:

Event Tonight: Haitian Relief Benefit, Monday, January 18th, 5-10pm, Liv Nightclub, 2001 11th St. NW, DJ KC, DJ Oji, DJ Louis P.
$5 Donation, all proceeds donated to the American Red Cross/Salvation Army

Lists of relief efforts around the city: Going Out Gurus , Adventures in Shaw , DC Fab

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Hello 2010

With less than a week into the new year, I'm exhausted already. My initial goal was to have all of my cleaning, de-cluttering, organizing, and re-grouping done by the first of the year. As life would have it, that didn't happen. I have to admit that I've gotten pleasantly off track with a hot new guy. Yes, I have landed back in Lovahville. And this is a welcome change given that I was recently reflecting on how 2009, while filled with dates, was enormously sexless. I was beginning to believe that I was no longer capable of liking anyone. Well, I can definitely circle yes for this one. This year I'll also be returning to my old job. I'm actually looking forward to it. And I can't wait to try all the new restaurants popping up. How is it that I haven't been to Masa 14 yet? I did check out Againn before the year ended. My bartender, Jessica, was fantastic. She let me try several small batch gins that I had never heard of. I think Leopold's Gin is now my new favorite. I only had an appetizer so I can't really say much about the menu. But with its perfect location between the metro and my apartment, I'm sure this will be a regular stop.
While I generally don't make resolutions, this year I plan on not stressing as much, less procrastination, and much more travel. Happy belated New Year!

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