One of Those Days

This was truly one of those days when I am happy just to be home. It started off bad. Suffering from another bout of insomnia, I woke up late only to realize that I forgot to buy coffee beans over the weekend. This is not good for someone like me who needs to be plugged up to an IV of caffeine as soon as I wake up. I knew it would be raining but I forgot my umbrella of course, in my rush to get to work. And of course, when I left work it was pouring outside. I ran back in and asked someone in the office if there was a spare umbrella. The only one he could find was a child's mickey mouse umbrella with ears! Well, beggars can't be choosers. On my way to the train I get several funny looks and I finally yell at someone, "It's not my umbrella!" I got off the train at Dupont Circle to meet Mitch for dinner at Thaiphoon. I didn't eat lunch so I was starving. When I exited the train there was a burning smell in the station and we were told that the north side was closed because of a fire. As luck would have it, the escalators were not working so there's a massive crowd waiting to make the trek up. I finally made it out of the station only to notice that Mitch, being the hysterical queen that he is, has sent me a million texts asking where I am. At Thaiphoon, I ordered pad thai and as I began to dig in, to my horror I noticed a long hair weaved in with my noodles. What the hell! I completely lost my appetite. I was tired and just wanted to go home at that point. After Mitch dropped me off at my door and drove off, I shuffled through my purse and realized that I didn't have my keys. Hell no! The image of my keys sitting on my desk at work immediately popped in my head. And just as this realization hit, it also starts to rain again - hard. The umbrella with the ears? I left it back at Thaiphoon. Luckily, my landlord lives nearby so it didn't take too long to get in my apartment. There's a Mad Men marathon on and a bottle of wine with my name on it! Home sweet home.

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Random Thoughts on Metro at 4:45 pm on a Thursday

I made the unfortunate decision of going out to Bethesda via Metro to do a little shopping on my day off at 4:45 pm on a Thursday. These were some of my thoughts:

• Why the hell do people pack themselves into Metro cars like sardines during the evening rush hour? This is especially ridiculous during a heat wave in July! In the morning I get it. You don't want to be late for work and every minute counts. But in the evening, when these government geeks are most likely doing nothing more than going home to a TV dinner and there's another train in two minutes, what's the point? And I don't care how long you showered or how much scented stuff you sprayed or slapped on your body that morning, by the end of the work day I don't want to be packed up against a bunch of folk. It's just plain funky!
• With yet another Metro fare increase, all I'm left to ask is: wtf? I mean really, has service improved? Are escalators being fixed? Will buses run on schedule? Will employees stop texting or sleeping while operating trains and buses? Are the trains actually any safer after last year's crash?
• Why don't more employers utilize telecommuting? And does every office worker really need to work from 9 to 5?
• On my left: rather obese woman with huge wedding ring holding the hand of a hot guy with a buzz cut. Both appear to be in their twenties. My take: they are a young married couple from the Midwest who met in high school and he's in the military. That just doesn't happen in DC. Guys in DC aren't even trying to marry women who like models with six-figure salaries. And yes, in his back pocket is a museum brochure. Tourists!
• Guy in front of me: why do men with frontal balding let the hair in the back continue to grow no matter how bad it looks? This guy had stringy gray hair in the back of his head that was almost at his ass. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?
• Woman on my right: appeared to be in her late 50's, holding a nylon lunch bag, head in hand and rubbing her forehead. Oh yeah, she knows exactly how many days until retirement.
• I'm often surprised bars aren't more crowded during happy hour. My choice for the next Mayor: the candidate who believes in the necessity of granting an alcohol allowance to every DC worker as much as I do. What else is DC government doing with my taxes?

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Things Change and Stay the Same

I'm now officially on vacation from everything and have had time to collect some of my thoughts. The last two months have revolved around my regular job, the freelance thing, travel, and figuring out what city other than DC this City Girl should be living in. The where to live part has required some ongoing introspection. I have also felt rather uninspired (and somewhat guilty) about the whole "city girl living in DC" yet writing a blog thing. I mean really, if I'm trying to get the hell out, what do I have to say? Well, as life goes, I end up experiencing all kinds of crazy things I only would in DC that make me question my quest to leave or at least the reasons why.
In no important order:

The Town and Country in the Mayflower Hotel: 5 years ago I worked 3 blocks away and this was a regular happy hour stop for me and several co-workers. Haven't been since then. I stopped in last month and Sam, the infamous bartender, is still doing magic tricks and mixing up the best martinis in town. I was greeted with, "Welcome back. We missed you." How is that for service?

What I didn't know before moving to DC: I love interesting things in a bowl, particularly noodles with stuff. Variations consist of: pho, curry laksa, gamjatang, congee, udon noodle soup....Well, DC Noodle has fed my craving lately with their spicy noodle soup complete with ground peanuts, cilantro, bean sprouts, scallions, and two types of tofu - crispy and soft. Delicious!

Acadiana and TenPenh have two of the best patios in the city - breezy and comfortable. TenPenh even has a Sunday night happy hour from 5:30 until close. This is great for those of you who want to avoid the 9 to 5 crowd and have cocktails and small bites like kobe beef sliders later in the evening.

Shopping Euphoria - The Denim Bar at Pentagon Row. As many women know, shopping for jeans can be a traumatic experience. This place takes all the trauma away - even for a curvy girl like me. And yes, the word 'bar' is for real. I walked in, told the salesperson my dilemma, and was immediately offered a glass of wine while he quickly found jeans suited for me. Jeff was amazing. He demanded (I love forceful men!) that I come out as I tried on each pair for an evaluation. I ended up with a pair of Paige jeans that were perfect for work and partying.

How does marriage and motherhood give women automatic entry into sainthood/super-significance? And why do women validate this craziness? Beyonce, half-naked dancing on a stage, dates a man who "puts a ring on it." Crazy groupies on Basketball Wives are supposedly in a special club all their own because they have gotten married to the lying, cheating athlete. My own past ex-Mr. DJ marries a stripper and all of a sudden I'm the whore because I fooled around with him. More recently, I had a man declare, as I was kicking his ass out, that he would have "wifed" me. Is that even a word we are accepting now? That is, of course, if I had not been such a bad girl. What the hell?

Don't ever date a townie. A rule I should have learned years ago. Absolutely no one who has grown up in and has immediate family in DC, Maryland, or Virginia. Hey, these are things college women learn.

Seems as if there will never be another Red nightclub. I appreciate U Street Music Hall but as a house music head, it just leaves me wanting more. And really, who are these completely uncoordinated yuppies who knock drinks and you on the ground as they so-call dance?

I would never advise a woman who wanted to get married and have children to move to DC. Odds are, you just won't find that guy here. You can go out on dates with men from 25 to 80 all day, everyday (as I did recently all in one night). But get married and establish a family? Not likely.

Amazing art/music events like AudioTrip two weeks ago. DJ Spinna, Rich Medina, and live art, right up the street from me? Come on!

I have never truly been bored in DC. There is always something to do - or drink!

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Random Wednesday

At some point very soon, I will force time to slow down and not allow spring to fly by like a whirling dervish as it did last year and the year before, etc. and allow me to think clearly. Oh, how I wish I could. In the meantime, I only have random thoughts.

• I realized the power of our thoughts, which I need to remember for more important stuff: Two weeks ago I was on a date at Utopia listening to jazz and couldn't keep my eyes off the drummer. So cute! But he must be a baby, I thought. Unfortunately, I was much more interested in him than my date. Last night, said drummer approaches me at Patty Boom Boom and says he's seen me many times around town and was interested. We engage in a great conversation and flirt heavily. A date has been planned. And yes, he is a baby (24!), but oh well.
• What does a girl want? A 100 calorie cocktail, that's what! PS7s has just that. The other day I had the Skinny Gnome and was in love. I'm a gin drinker and love cucumber so this was the drink for me. Mixologist, Gina Chersevani is amazing!
• Why do sex phrases revolve around men being in power: bang, nail, screw, feed the clam (not my term)? How about, wrestling the snake? At least the woman is active.
• At a recent conference I met a guy at the hotel bar who said with the sincerest of eyes, that he "lives for the cuddle" - but only after sex. Lol. Interesting tactic for enticing women into bed! After hearing my dating history he also said that I take advantage of crazy men for sex. Well, that's a fresh new perspective.
• I'm absolutely loving my new Conair Mega Ceramic blow dry paddle brush. Where has this brush been all my life? For someone who has thick hair, I'm amazed at how this brush has cut down my blow dry time.
• How crazy is it that a blogger was threatened with legal action over a comment on her blog? I hate stupid shit. Won't be patronizing Du Vin de Bullshit. Power to UStreetGirl and all bloggers!
• Healthcare for all!!!

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Amidst Chaos

I love a pleasant surprise. This past week was chaotic in ways I can't and don't want to go into. Let's just say I survived. And through it all, there was a ray of hope. In addition to my normal work schedule, I took on some contract work that needed to be done in just a week. Broke girl needs work - she'll do it. So, I was exhausted and delirious, which of course means I made bad decisions like thinking I could relieve stress with an ex. Not. Why didn't someone warn me!!! The good thing is that as DC conferences go, there's always interesting people to meet. Lucky for me I met some folks from Barbados who now have me convinced that I should be living there. I may not go that far but I will definitely visit this summer, hopefully for carnival. This extended winter season in DC has been enough to speed up my search for my happy place.

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Failure to Launch

Between being back at my old job and getting reacquainted with that stress, and experimental dating, I almost forgot I had a blog. Leave it to me to awaken from my Lovahville slumber to the realization that I'm with Failure to Launch Guy. I'm beginning to think that if I keep dating, I will have met every loser guy character in a movie and on Sex in the City. My biggest beef with this one is that unlike in the movie, I was not being paid by his parents to get him to leave their house. Maybe I should have suggested that to them. He actually believed that they liked having him around and that out of several other siblings, he was the favorite. Well gee, why else would he be the only adult child still at home. While the mother seemed content using her 39 year old son as an errand boy, the father had completey given up and didn't even speak the times I saw him. Yes, he actually thought trips to his parent's house qualified as dates. The last straw was when he suggested that I do my laundry there. Let's see, I'm not in college anymore and those aren't even MY parents! At one point he told me that his mom wasn't speaking to him because he was spending so much time with me. Can we spell freaky? Oh, and I can't forget how he was always borrowing a family member's car, which he had to quickly return to the suburbs the next day. Probably the biggest benefit of all that extra money he saved not paying rent was being able to use it for his toy helicopters. And no, I'm not kidding. He had several that he even tried to fly around my tiny apartment. Yes, at this point you've got to be saying I was crazy for sticking it out as long as I did. Well, to be honest, I was getting a cheap thrill out of seeing just how bad it could get. I didn't really believe this guy was serious. I do love a good story, even at the expense of my own sanity. And I did get the funniest line I've heard in a long time from him. When I finally ended it, he reassured me that there was "a gang of broads" that wanted to fuck him. I didn't even know guys still used the term 'broads' anymore. My sister, who is now separated after 20 years and dating again, tried to one-up me with her story of a guy bringing a bottle of Nutcracker liquor on a date. At least he came with an offering.

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Hello 2010

With less than a week into the new year, I'm exhausted already. My initial goal was to have all of my cleaning, de-cluttering, organizing, and re-grouping done by the first of the year. As life would have it, that didn't happen. I have to admit that I've gotten pleasantly off track with a hot new guy. Yes, I have landed back in Lovahville. And this is a welcome change given that I was recently reflecting on how 2009, while filled with dates, was enormously sexless. I was beginning to believe that I was no longer capable of liking anyone. Well, I can definitely circle yes for this one. This year I'll also be returning to my old job. I'm actually looking forward to it. And I can't wait to try all the new restaurants popping up. How is it that I haven't been to Masa 14 yet? I did check out Againn before the year ended. My bartender, Jessica, was fantastic. She let me try several small batch gins that I had never heard of. I think Leopold's Gin is now my new favorite. I only had an appetizer so I can't really say much about the menu. But with its perfect location between the metro and my apartment, I'm sure this will be a regular stop.
While I generally don't make resolutions, this year I plan on not stressing as much, less procrastination, and much more travel. Happy belated New Year!

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DC Snowball Fight - Really?

With almost 2 feet of snow in DC by Saturday morning, I had plenty of time to sit around at home in my PJs and surf the internet, including Twitter. Apparently, like many others (given the comments on various sites), I got caught up in reading about the snowball fight that took place Saturday afternoon at 14th and U Sts. NW. Seems like within minutes of this incident taking place, there was outrage all over the internet about a DC detective brandishing a gun after he and his vehicle were pelted with snowballs. There is just so much wrong with this story that I don't even know where to begin. What I won't do here, as many others have done, is focus on whether or not the detective was wrong for getting pissed and brandishing his weapon. What I take issue with is this ridiculous so-called snowball fight. The social scientist in me says that this was a crazy combination of race, class, and geography (gentrification, residential segregation, use of urban space) issues. But as a DC resident and someone who has always lived in a major metropolitan city, I find this to be the dumbest DC story of 2009, even dumber and more unbelievable than the Salahi drama. Why would grown people think that it makes sense to have a snowball fight at a major intersection in the middle of a blizzard??? Apparently this was organized via Twitter. I would love to know whose bright idea this was. From some accounts there were close to 200 people engaged in this fight. I have no problem with this being someone's idea of fun, but why would this not be done in an appropriate space like a park (lots of them in DC) or the National Mall even? The safety concerns are many, especially during a blizzard. Most of the stories I've read extolled the kindness of the participants for helping drivers who got stuck in the snow. Oh ok, forget the fact that flying snowballs could impair those driving in all that snow. And what about pedestrians uninterested in participating? Most people probably had sense enough to stay home if they didn't have to go out, but there were many others who had no choice. Some people actually had to work and there are many businesses at that intersection, not to mention bus stops, and road crews trying to clear the streets. I mean really, this just sounds like the behavior of a bunch of college students. The intersection of 14th and U is not the QUAD people! What I found to be a common thread in the news coverage is how this was all "good-natured fun." One guy in the Post was even quoted as saying, "I feel that this is just an example of people asserting our basic right to have fun, and the police not being okay with that." Dude, are you serious? I'm amazed at the sense of entitlement in that statement. It's interesting how I'm constantly reading neighborhood blogs where people complain about the "rowdy" kids in Chinatown and applaud the efforts of the police to round them up. I'm sure many of these kids would say they are having good-natured fun. But the difference is that these are actual KIDS. And many of them quite possibly live in Southeast or Northeast where there are no movie theaters, sit-down restaurants, major retail clothing stores, etc. I bet if these kids organized a snowball fight at 7th and H St. NW there would be no complaints about a cop brandishing or even pointing a gun at them. Then there's the issue of the detective's Hummer. For some reason, people felt anyone in a Hummer deserved to be pelted with snowballs. Huh? Sorry, but I think there are better ways to protest your views. And how about taking that behavior to an affluent neighborhood in the 'burbs where you're likely to find many more Hummers and other SUVs? So, given that he was being targeted and then continued to be pelted once out of his vehicle, the detective takes out his gun. To be honest, I'm surprised these people weren't met with violent behavior from others besides the cop. Have people forgotten that this is a city with a very high rate of gun violence? Maybe so, given the level of gentrification in the U Street corridor. A snowball fight would not have even happened at this intersection 15 or even 10 years ago. Yes, I enjoy some of the outcomes of gentrification like the farmer's market, restaurants, and bars. But a snowball fight? No. I think DC police should have dispersed a crowd of this magnitude engaging in behavior that was just plain unsafe and stupid. And why a snowball fight? Do yuppies in DC have that much pent up aggression that they haven't released by posting angry comments to Washington Post articles?

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Astronauts Can Be Crazy Too

Lisa Nowak in court, with Colleen Shipman in the background. Photograph: Red Huber/AP

One of the nerdiest things about my past is that I actually wanted to be an astronaut. That lasted from adolescence to mid-high school. I have since changed quite a bit and could never imagine being an astronaut. But I think my feelings about that illustrate how we all have stereotypical ideas about people based on their careers. Like for instance, I wouldn't have imagined an astronaut engaging in behavior that would be shocking even for a Lifetime TV movie. When I heard this story two years ago I thought wow, how sad and pathetic. Relationships (or obsessions) can truly drive people to do crazy things. This woman, a mother of three, drove 1,000 miles in a diaper to attack and kidnap a woman simply because they were involved with the same man. What I'll never understand is why so many women will direct their anger at the woman and not the man in these situations. If this guy was being unfaithful, why didn't she deal with him? Now I've gotten back at a guy for cheating in some creative ways but I've never considered confronting the woman. What's the point? I wasn't in a relationship with her, and as much as popular culture would like us to, I don't believe women can steal men away. All too often the men are left unscathed from multiple relationships. And it doesn't send a good public message when the crazy woman doesn't even get jail time like in this case. Soon after the incident she was fired from NASA but this just goes to show that a person's occupation doesn't say much for their stability.

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Is DC Worth the Cost?

As much as I love DC, there's plenty I dislike as well, especially the high cost of living. But is DC worth the high cost? Given the state of the economy, I think many big city residents have been asking themselves this question. I thought about this today on my walk home from the Dupont Circle Farmers Market (finally got a spaghetti squash) when I passed a guy wearing a t-shirt that said, "I Can't Afford to Love NY." Funny but sadly true in many ways for a lot of people. Of course, this whole issue of cost of living has a lot to do with lifestyle. The granola-eating green living hippie is certainly not trying to get the same thing out of DC as the social climbing attorney/party promoter. But some things, like the cost of housing, have an effect on everyone. I know I've always felt hugely cheated when it comes to housing in DC. Is a tiny one-bedroom ever worth $1200? When I had a car, did it make sense to pay almost $200 a month in car insurance? If I can get a good manicure in New York for $15, why am I paying $35 in DC? And while there may be more jobs in DC, does pay really reflect the high cost of living? I don't think so. For the kind of work I do, I could be paid the same in Columbus, Ohio and be living in a palace compared to my studio apartment.
I've recently talked to friends about this, who range in occupations from a well-paid accountant to a server whose income fluctuates, and their attitudes vary. Some say they wouldn't live anywhere else while others just feel stuck. I'm definitely closer to the feeling stuck end of the scale. I came here right out of grad school for a job and haven't left since. But at this point, I'm not quite sure where to go to get what I want in a city at a lower cost. I periodically check the Forbes list of best cheap cities but usually don't see places at the top I could see myself living. Do I want to be in a city that's cheaper but requires a car, where I can't walk to almost anywhere I need to go? But do I need to be in a city with a million different trendy restaurants with mediocre food? Can I live without being able to go out and hear the kind of music I like on a regular basis? I love the proximity via train to cities on the East Coast but have I ever taken that day trip to Philly like I said I would? Maybe there is something to be said for living in a big city where you know there's always something to do even if you don't feel like doing a thing but stay home. And this blog itself is a good example. I don't think City Girl Pittsburgh would be quite the same.

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RedRocks for Lunch...and Happy Hour

For over a week, I took a mental vacation in my head and apartment. It didn't do much good for my to-do list but I do feel somewhat rejuvenated. I can always be motivated by food and thanks to my empty refrigerator and an Adventures in Shaw post, I got out and finally tried RedRocks pizza this past Friday. I can now see why they were voted 2nd best pizza out of 32 in the Washingtonian Pizza Pool. Even though the bartender got my order wrong, this was one amazing pizza!
My day started with a promising meeting that could result in a steady consulting job. I decided to treat myself to a lazy afternoon lunch. I had no idea it would last well into happy hour. When I got there I was one of maybe 5 people there. Since the weather was so nice I almost sat outside on the patio but when I noticed Top Chef was on the TV, I settled in at the bar. Within twenty minutes, the place had filled up and I had plenty of company at the bar. I quickly realized RedRocks is one of those cool neighborhood joints where people come in and are immediately friendly. I also realized that I wasn't the only one who decided to have a leisurely Friday afternoon. The most talkative of the bunch was a wiry, horn-rimmed glasses wearing, 50-something real estate investor who knew something about everything and appeared to have done it all. After several glasses of wine and leftover pizza, I was ready to head home for a nap. I was told by the bartender that I didn't have a bill. Apparently the wiry talker had paid everyone's tab at the bar. Wow! I need a fairy barfather more often.

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Hot and Bothered

I'm quite sure I've ranted before about my dislike of hot, humid DC summers. And yes, I do agree that this summer has been rather kind comparatively. But today, I'm particularly bothered by this uncomfortable weather and thus, feel like ranting about other stuff as well.
First, could someone please remind me never to go on a job interview in 90 degree heat all the way out in Virginia?! I still haven't decided if I'm returning to my job next month after the restructuring and being offered less money and fewer benefits so, I've been looking yet again. Too much to think about. That, coupled with these freakish, gun-toting town hall protesters just makes me want to pack up and move to Copenhagen, where the summers are cooler and apparently Denmark is the happiest country in the world.
I'm also hoping to cure myself of this bad habit of giving out my phone number to stupid dudes. I got a healthy dose of Trickster Dude the other night and he has continued to text me for the past few days. The scenario: British journalist in town for business I met while out with friends. Seemingly nice, fun, interesting, yada, yada. He's here for a month and is having trouble finding fun places to go. At the end of the night we were both hungry and went to The Diner. We share a cab afterwards and as a typical dude, suggests I hang out in his hotel room. Uh, no! There will be two stops Mr. Cab Driver.
The next day he texts several times about my day and what I'm doing. I told him I'd be out later and to let me know if he wanted to meet for drinks. He said he felt really tired and might not be up for it but would call if he did. While I'm out later that night I spot Mr. Brit over in the corner with a woman getting pretty cozy. We glanced at each other a few times so I'm sure he saw me. I also notice him making the rounds and approaching several other women. At the end of the night when I walk over to speak, he acts all surprised like he didn't know I was there. I say good night and leave. About a half hour later, I start to get a barrage of texts asking me why I left and how he really wanted to see me. He actually said that he thought we had plans. Plans? I don't think so. He never called to make any.
Apparently he thought he would try his hand at a few other women (why waste time when you're only in town for a month?) rather than commit to hanging out with me. So, when he doesn't get lucky he figures why not make another attempt with Good Time Girl (me) from the night before. Same tactic as every other dude who likes to call/text at the end of the night to "see what you're doing." How stupid am I supposed to be? I'm done ranting for the day.

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No Sex, But Do You Want a Cookie?

This post should have been titled, "Mardi Gras at Central", but given how the night turned out... Sometimes things just don't turn out the way you planned and that may not be such a bad thing. Unfortunately, my planned dinner companion, Adventures in Shaw, got sick so I had to find someone else to have dinner with at my now favorite restaurant, Central, for their 2nd annual Mardi Gras Celebration. Why waste a reservation at a great restaurant when they're having live music from the New Orleans jazz quartet Laissez Foure and New Orleans food and cocktails? How hard could it be to snag a friend to go with me? Well, apparently harder than I thought. I asked a guy friend of three years who seemed eager and confirmed an hour before the reservation. Now let me add, even though this may not be of any importance, that this is a guy friend who has occasionally hinted at and made minor gestures toward being more than friends. Why? I have no idea. I have given this guy no indication that I'm interested in being anymore than friends and things seem just fine remaining that way. But his statements about there being good men around that women just ignore always baffle me. I don't doubt there are at least one or two good guys still left. I just want one I'm interested in. So, to make a long story short, I'm at the restaurant sitting at the table 40 minutes into the reservation and this guy, who I have always considered to be reliable, has not shown up. I call him and he tells me he is on his way?! On a night when tables are in demand at this restaurant, I called him back and said I would just eat at the bar. These are the times when you are thankful you have never slept with a man. When the very gracious hostess came over to see about me, I told her what happened and that I needed more gay guy friends and that I would be getting drunk. My second Hurricane almost did it while I munched on a tuna burger. Since I was not drunk or tired, I headed to Adams Morgan for more live music. I ran into an old DJ friend. He was with a friend who turned out to be from my hometown. While I didn't recognize her, we actually went to the same junior high school! What a coincidence! We exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up for dinner later in the week. My DJ friend gave me a ride home. He walked me to my door and after several minutes of explaining why a hug and kiss on the cheek was enough, I offered him a homemade chocolate chip cookie. I actually made cookies the night before and they turned out really well considering I hadn't made cookies in years. He declined. Oh well. I did promise him that I would show up for his DJ night this coming Sunday. C'est la vie!

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What Do You Say When...

...the janitor at your job asks if you are single? This has happened on more than one job in my life and I still haven't come up with a good response. It bugs me that women often have to be bothered with this kind of crap at work, and it raises several other issues.

First, what should a woman - ok let's be clear, a single woman in my case - say when the male janitor asks such a question. And no, I'm not trying to be funny. I actually find this to be an annoyingly difficult situation to navigate. Why? Mainly because this is someone you have to see everyday and you sometimes need him to do things like empty your trash and you want to maintain a cordial work environment. Similar to the administrative assistant. So, you don't want to shoot off the first thing that comes to mind, which for me is: "Are you kidding?" Do I look like I'm interested in talking to you?" No, that would be bad. I'm not trying to be the bitch at work. As many of you may be thinking, why don't I just say the politically correct thing: "That's an inappropriate question to ask me. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from doing so." I'm not a fan of that either. While I would be completely justified in saying that, the response would also come off badly like I'm a bitch and there goes the cordial environment. And as we all know, office politics can be a tricky game. What did I say? Unfortunately, I ended up lying and said I was not single. I really hate having to do that in responding to any guy I want to go away because while it has the desired effect of them going away, I feel that I have given these guys the wrong impression that if I were single, they would have a chance and they will then continue their bad behavior with other women. I mean really, the guy who goes around asking women if they are single is usually someone who doesn't stand a chance in hell of dating them. I don't mean to sound classist, but why in the world would I date the janitor on my job? I don't believe in dating men I work with at all, let alone the janitor! Collegial work relationships that turn into love relationships can happen but they're usually based on common interests, shared experiences, etc. So, why shouldn't I just say, "Yes, I'm single but I would never date you." Sounds mean I know.

Secondly, why is it that women are always dealing with this issue? I'm sure men sometimes have this problem but nowhere near the rate that women do. And I'm always amazed that it's still happening even in this era of sexual harassment policies. Most people are aware of these laws. This is not the 1950's. And why are these guys harassing women who are in a much higher occupational level? Aren't they at all afraid of losing their jobs? I get enough of that on the street and really don't need it at work.

And speaking of annoying men on the street, what do you say to these questions/comments?:

• Hey baby, can I go with you?
• Smile, it's not that bad.
• Psst, can I talk to you?
• Where's your man?
• Do you want some company?

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Time to Hibernate

Have I mentioned how much I dislike cold weather? Even though I grew up in the Midwest, my body never adjusted to harsh winter weather. This is a major reason why I will be hibernating all weekend long. But besides that, I just need a break. For one, my job has fully exhausted me and I just might take the entirety of next week off. I also just got into a fight with my married older sister with three kids yet again, over her bossiness and lack of understanding about what it's like being single - for one's entire life! I'm beginning to believe that I really don't like ANY married people and have never been fond of older siblings. How is it that I'm in my thirties and she's still trying to boss me around? My consulting side gig almost brought in a new client which would have been great holiday money. As luck would have it, it fell through - couldn't afford the services after all. Guess they were running low on disposable income just like me. What else? Oh yes, the other day I was completely dissed by my neighborhood bar/restaurant. While I've never considered Old Domionion Brewhouse to be the best when it comes to service or food, I can always count on a good, affordable beer, familiar faces, and neighborhood gossip. When the place is like two blocks away, you can't beat that. And what the hell else is on 9th street near the Convention Center? Unfortunately, I made the mistake of ordering food. When the food was cooked incorrectly, I told the bartender who then talked to the manager. The reply from the bartender: "the manager said you could order something else." Huh? I just wanted what I ordered cooked the right way. Is that so hard? What's really messed up is that the manager never spoke directly to me. As much money as I've spent in that place, I felt violated. Needless to say, I paid my bill without a tip and left. And I won't be going back, ever.
On the positive side, my apartment is stocked with: good wine, Netflix movies, Le Petit Ecolier dark chocolate cookies, and lavender bubble bath. I also learned that mega fashion site, net-a-porter.com, has just launched a new set of virtual boutiques to make it easier to find the items you want. For me, it's like window shopping online. I love dropping things into my "shopping bag" that I will never buy and it gives me ideas for when I go to stores for us normal people. Let the hibernation begin!

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Back in the Saddle Again

Ok, I have truly been busy these past couple of weeks. Good for my eventual bank account, but not good for right now. I seriously haven't had the energy or time to do anything else right now, especially blog (how did blogging become an activity?). In addition to teaching, I took on a short-term contract assignment. It's great work - educational outreach for an important cause - but it's in Reston!!!! I think I've blogged about this before but I have extreme suburbaphobia. Can someone please tell me what's up with these corporate parks with acres of land set in front of office buildings that look uninhabited except for the gazillion cars in the lots surrounding them? I even saw a band of geese as I was walking toward some form of public transportation. Maybe they were long-neck ducks, but whatever. As some of you may know, I am without car and have begun to believe that people like me are not welcome in places like Reston. If so, where are the sidewalks? How was I supposed to get anywhere walking across wet, grassy land? I am just not a fan of town centers. They are fake substitutes for real cities. Even the perfect little townhouses I saw while walking seemed unreal. Where were the people? I got enough of that while in the Midwest as a grad student. The point is, while in Reston, I felt lost, stuck, stranded. I was seriously scared. This situation may sound like no big deal, but it is so much worse in extreme weather. As we know, DC has been so extremely hot that people have been advised not to go outdoors on some days. So, imagine how I felt when I am standing in the middle of nowhere, with no store, restaurant, hotel, or any other form of shelter, waiting for a bus. I was so relieved each day when I finally got on the train and it pulled into the L'Enfant Plaza metro station. I could get out, hail a cab, walk home, find food, rest at a nice hotel bar...whatever. These were not options out in northern Virginia. While this assignment was good experience, I have no intentions of ever going back that far into Virginia for work again. Hey, these are the sacrifices we have to make.

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