Dude, Really?

The good thing about being single is that generally when a relationship is over, it's over. You can completely cut ties with the person. And especially when a relationship ends badly, you're very grateful for that fact. I was very happy to be done with a guy I dated a few months ago but unwisely had occasional sex with him. What can I say, we had strong physical chemistry. But about a month ago, I made the decision not to do that either and was truly cutting ties. I was trying to wipe the slate clean for something better. Good for me, right? Well, apparently this wasn't good enough for someone - his PREGNANT WIFE! Yes, this past weekend I got that crazy psycho call every single woman fears. Fortunately (or, maybe not) for me, I wasn't afraid because I've been there before several years ago. However, back then the circumstances were of the stereotypical kind: naive girl knows the guy is married, he claims he's not happy and the wife is a horrible person, and girl believes that he will leave like he claims. But I learned my lesson and knew I would never fall into that trap again. With all the other really ridiculous man-drama I experienced since, I figured I'd gotten my fair share of karma.
So, this was somewhat of a shock for several reasons. For one thing, I met several members of this guy's family, including his parents. I was at his parent's home (where he lived) several times. For a while we were spending so much time together that it was almost like we were living together. So, where was the wife during all of this? According to her, she arrived in the U.S. permanently several months ago. His response to this nonsense, including how she got my phone number: nothing. And surely his family was involved in this marriage. Um, could you have let me in on this bullshit? If there was a limit on the number of WTF?'s a person gets, I would have surpassed it now by a million.
Now I know this may sound ethnocentric, but I may need to add a category to the Who Not to Date List: men who are culturally different. Even though this guy, like his gazillion siblings, has spent the majority of his life in the U.S., we were just way too different. He was completely immersed in his family's life: lived with them, worked for them, socialized with them. They had a lot of control over him and I just didn't get it. I mean really, 6am phone calls from your mother? I don't' think I'm supposed to get any of this. All I know is that I'm starting to think that the years women spend dating in DC are like dog years. I may have to retire from dating altogether if I don't want to end up a senior citizen next year.

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One of Those Days

This was truly one of those days when I am happy just to be home. It started off bad. Suffering from another bout of insomnia, I woke up late only to realize that I forgot to buy coffee beans over the weekend. This is not good for someone like me who needs to be plugged up to an IV of caffeine as soon as I wake up. I knew it would be raining but I forgot my umbrella of course, in my rush to get to work. And of course, when I left work it was pouring outside. I ran back in and asked someone in the office if there was a spare umbrella. The only one he could find was a child's mickey mouse umbrella with ears! Well, beggars can't be choosers. On my way to the train I get several funny looks and I finally yell at someone, "It's not my umbrella!" I got off the train at Dupont Circle to meet Mitch for dinner at Thaiphoon. I didn't eat lunch so I was starving. When I exited the train there was a burning smell in the station and we were told that the north side was closed because of a fire. As luck would have it, the escalators were not working so there's a massive crowd waiting to make the trek up. I finally made it out of the station only to notice that Mitch, being the hysterical queen that he is, has sent me a million texts asking where I am. At Thaiphoon, I ordered pad thai and as I began to dig in, to my horror I noticed a long hair weaved in with my noodles. What the hell! I completely lost my appetite. I was tired and just wanted to go home at that point. After Mitch dropped me off at my door and drove off, I shuffled through my purse and realized that I didn't have my keys. Hell no! The image of my keys sitting on my desk at work immediately popped in my head. And just as this realization hit, it also starts to rain again - hard. The umbrella with the ears? I left it back at Thaiphoon. Luckily, my landlord lives nearby so it didn't take too long to get in my apartment. There's a Mad Men marathon on and a bottle of wine with my name on it! Home sweet home.

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Random Thoughts on Metro at 4:45 pm on a Thursday

I made the unfortunate decision of going out to Bethesda via Metro to do a little shopping on my day off at 4:45 pm on a Thursday. These were some of my thoughts:

• Why the hell do people pack themselves into Metro cars like sardines during the evening rush hour? This is especially ridiculous during a heat wave in July! In the morning I get it. You don't want to be late for work and every minute counts. But in the evening, when these government geeks are most likely doing nothing more than going home to a TV dinner and there's another train in two minutes, what's the point? And I don't care how long you showered or how much scented stuff you sprayed or slapped on your body that morning, by the end of the work day I don't want to be packed up against a bunch of folk. It's just plain funky!
• With yet another Metro fare increase, all I'm left to ask is: wtf? I mean really, has service improved? Are escalators being fixed? Will buses run on schedule? Will employees stop texting or sleeping while operating trains and buses? Are the trains actually any safer after last year's crash?
• Why don't more employers utilize telecommuting? And does every office worker really need to work from 9 to 5?
• On my left: rather obese woman with huge wedding ring holding the hand of a hot guy with a buzz cut. Both appear to be in their twenties. My take: they are a young married couple from the Midwest who met in high school and he's in the military. That just doesn't happen in DC. Guys in DC aren't even trying to marry women who like models with six-figure salaries. And yes, in his back pocket is a museum brochure. Tourists!
• Guy in front of me: why do men with frontal balding let the hair in the back continue to grow no matter how bad it looks? This guy had stringy gray hair in the back of his head that was almost at his ass. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?
• Woman on my right: appeared to be in her late 50's, holding a nylon lunch bag, head in hand and rubbing her forehead. Oh yeah, she knows exactly how many days until retirement.
• I'm often surprised bars aren't more crowded during happy hour. My choice for the next Mayor: the candidate who believes in the necessity of granting an alcohol allowance to every DC worker as much as I do. What else is DC government doing with my taxes?

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No Exceptions

I know I've said this before but as time and age creeps on, one thinks that exceptions may apply but - hell no! When it comes to the , "Who Not to Date List", there are no exceptions. Seriously, law enforcement dudes are a no-no, especially for DC cops. Here's a text message exchange with a cop I met on the street recently. And please, remind me why I gave him my number. Drunk, horny, stupid, what? And yes, this is the exact wording.

Him: What's up, watch u up to?

Me: Nothing much

Him: Invite me over I'm bored watching tv

Me: My apt is a wreck. Wanna go for a walk?

Him: (after 20 minutes) Not 2nite got court in the mornin

Me: but didnt u just ask me to invite you over???

I got no response from him. Huh? Am I really supposed to be that stupid as to not recognize a booty call? Why don't men just ask for sex these days? It's much less insulting to a woman's intellect. Ok, so you don't really want to get to know me. You want to come to my place and hit it. Just say that. That way I can say yes or no and not feel like you think I'm a total idiot.

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Things Change and Stay the Same

I'm now officially on vacation from everything and have had time to collect some of my thoughts. The last two months have revolved around my regular job, the freelance thing, travel, and figuring out what city other than DC this City Girl should be living in. The where to live part has required some ongoing introspection. I have also felt rather uninspired (and somewhat guilty) about the whole "city girl living in DC" yet writing a blog thing. I mean really, if I'm trying to get the hell out, what do I have to say? Well, as life goes, I end up experiencing all kinds of crazy things I only would in DC that make me question my quest to leave or at least the reasons why.
In no important order:

The Town and Country in the Mayflower Hotel: 5 years ago I worked 3 blocks away and this was a regular happy hour stop for me and several co-workers. Haven't been since then. I stopped in last month and Sam, the infamous bartender, is still doing magic tricks and mixing up the best martinis in town. I was greeted with, "Welcome back. We missed you." How is that for service?

What I didn't know before moving to DC: I love interesting things in a bowl, particularly noodles with stuff. Variations consist of: pho, curry laksa, gamjatang, congee, udon noodle soup....Well, DC Noodle has fed my craving lately with their spicy noodle soup complete with ground peanuts, cilantro, bean sprouts, scallions, and two types of tofu - crispy and soft. Delicious!

Acadiana and TenPenh have two of the best patios in the city - breezy and comfortable. TenPenh even has a Sunday night happy hour from 5:30 until close. This is great for those of you who want to avoid the 9 to 5 crowd and have cocktails and small bites like kobe beef sliders later in the evening.

Shopping Euphoria - The Denim Bar at Pentagon Row. As many women know, shopping for jeans can be a traumatic experience. This place takes all the trauma away - even for a curvy girl like me. And yes, the word 'bar' is for real. I walked in, told the salesperson my dilemma, and was immediately offered a glass of wine while he quickly found jeans suited for me. Jeff was amazing. He demanded (I love forceful men!) that I come out as I tried on each pair for an evaluation. I ended up with a pair of Paige jeans that were perfect for work and partying.

How does marriage and motherhood give women automatic entry into sainthood/super-significance? And why do women validate this craziness? Beyonce, half-naked dancing on a stage, dates a man who "puts a ring on it." Crazy groupies on Basketball Wives are supposedly in a special club all their own because they have gotten married to the lying, cheating athlete. My own past ex-Mr. DJ marries a stripper and all of a sudden I'm the whore because I fooled around with him. More recently, I had a man declare, as I was kicking his ass out, that he would have "wifed" me. Is that even a word we are accepting now? That is, of course, if I had not been such a bad girl. What the hell?

Don't ever date a townie. A rule I should have learned years ago. Absolutely no one who has grown up in and has immediate family in DC, Maryland, or Virginia. Hey, these are things college women learn.

Seems as if there will never be another Red nightclub. I appreciate U Street Music Hall but as a house music head, it just leaves me wanting more. And really, who are these completely uncoordinated yuppies who knock drinks and you on the ground as they so-call dance?

I would never advise a woman who wanted to get married and have children to move to DC. Odds are, you just won't find that guy here. You can go out on dates with men from 25 to 80 all day, everyday (as I did recently all in one night). But get married and establish a family? Not likely.

Amazing art/music events like AudioTrip two weeks ago. DJ Spinna, Rich Medina, and live art, right up the street from me? Come on!

I have never truly been bored in DC. There is always something to do - or drink!

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Are You There Spring? It's Me, City Girl DC

I was beginning to believe that this year's weather was truly going to signify the end of the world. With unprecedented snowfall, the start of summer in April was not looking good to me. Fortunately, spring has returned and it is one of my favorite things about DC - that is, except for my spring allergies. For all you people who claim to love your health insurance the way it is, explain to me why my allergy medication is not covered at all by a major carrier. I've had allergy problems all of my life and I'm allergic to just about everything in nature, which explains why I'm not living in the country and don't like camping or any other wilderness-related activity. I've tried everything out there and I'm happy that some of these medications are now available over the counter. But as allergy sufferers know, it is very common to become immune to some brands over time. The only one that works for me right now is Allegra D, and it is still prescription only. But $40 for 10 pills is ridiculous! Between my allergies and the heat, I got no sleep this past week. But I knew it was spring for sure when the tourists rolled in. Every year it's the same and every year I'm annoyed. They have their children playing on the Metro escalators like they're at an amusement park, clog up the streets during rush hour with strollers, and somehow wind up in neighborhood restaurants where I never see kids. Could someone please tell me what hotel is directing these Midwesterners to Logan Tavern? Derek and I almost fell off our bar stools laughing when a rather chubby dad walks in wearing an undershirt, what appeared to be boxer shorts, and slip-on crocs. He looked around and said, "let's go somewhere else." Shame on you hotel concierge! Popeyes is just up the street.

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Gay Straight Men

I used to think I knew exactly what the term "Gay Straight Men" meant. I now realize it's more than being metrosexual or an odd sexual tendency, or a feminine mannerism I can clearly detect. It's the man who engages in weird gossipy he said/she said bullshit and thinks it's a one-upmanship contest. If I were in my twenties maybe I would care but at this point in life I find it sad and pathetic that a guy I'm no longer interested in would resort to engaging in information gathering with another guy I was never interested in and then call me up to tell me shit that's barely half true in order to get back at me. The really weird thing is that while I was initially upset, I became increasingly intrigued by the idea that anybody could be talking about me like I'm some kind of celebrity. I started to love it actually. I feel famous almost. Hmmm...how many more men do I need to sleep with to make it on TMZ?

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Twitter as Matchmaking Service

I just discovered an interesting latent function of Twitter, well at least for me: it can be used to weed out people you thought you might be interested in. I'm not a Facebook person but I'm sure that's also a good way. But what I think is even better about Twitter is that you get these quick little sound bytes into someone's personality, almost like speed dating. It's very spontaneous and makes you think hard about getting in exactly what you want you to say in 140 characters or less. And how did I realize this? Well, of course, because I started following someone I thought I might be interested in. Now I don't have to wonder. Thank you little, chirping blue bird!

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DC Snowball Fight - Really?

With almost 2 feet of snow in DC by Saturday morning, I had plenty of time to sit around at home in my PJs and surf the internet, including Twitter. Apparently, like many others (given the comments on various sites), I got caught up in reading about the snowball fight that took place Saturday afternoon at 14th and U Sts. NW. Seems like within minutes of this incident taking place, there was outrage all over the internet about a DC detective brandishing a gun after he and his vehicle were pelted with snowballs. There is just so much wrong with this story that I don't even know where to begin. What I won't do here, as many others have done, is focus on whether or not the detective was wrong for getting pissed and brandishing his weapon. What I take issue with is this ridiculous so-called snowball fight. The social scientist in me says that this was a crazy combination of race, class, and geography (gentrification, residential segregation, use of urban space) issues. But as a DC resident and someone who has always lived in a major metropolitan city, I find this to be the dumbest DC story of 2009, even dumber and more unbelievable than the Salahi drama. Why would grown people think that it makes sense to have a snowball fight at a major intersection in the middle of a blizzard??? Apparently this was organized via Twitter. I would love to know whose bright idea this was. From some accounts there were close to 200 people engaged in this fight. I have no problem with this being someone's idea of fun, but why would this not be done in an appropriate space like a park (lots of them in DC) or the National Mall even? The safety concerns are many, especially during a blizzard. Most of the stories I've read extolled the kindness of the participants for helping drivers who got stuck in the snow. Oh ok, forget the fact that flying snowballs could impair those driving in all that snow. And what about pedestrians uninterested in participating? Most people probably had sense enough to stay home if they didn't have to go out, but there were many others who had no choice. Some people actually had to work and there are many businesses at that intersection, not to mention bus stops, and road crews trying to clear the streets. I mean really, this just sounds like the behavior of a bunch of college students. The intersection of 14th and U is not the QUAD people! What I found to be a common thread in the news coverage is how this was all "good-natured fun." One guy in the Post was even quoted as saying, "I feel that this is just an example of people asserting our basic right to have fun, and the police not being okay with that." Dude, are you serious? I'm amazed at the sense of entitlement in that statement. It's interesting how I'm constantly reading neighborhood blogs where people complain about the "rowdy" kids in Chinatown and applaud the efforts of the police to round them up. I'm sure many of these kids would say they are having good-natured fun. But the difference is that these are actual KIDS. And many of them quite possibly live in Southeast or Northeast where there are no movie theaters, sit-down restaurants, major retail clothing stores, etc. I bet if these kids organized a snowball fight at 7th and H St. NW there would be no complaints about a cop brandishing or even pointing a gun at them. Then there's the issue of the detective's Hummer. For some reason, people felt anyone in a Hummer deserved to be pelted with snowballs. Huh? Sorry, but I think there are better ways to protest your views. And how about taking that behavior to an affluent neighborhood in the 'burbs where you're likely to find many more Hummers and other SUVs? So, given that he was being targeted and then continued to be pelted once out of his vehicle, the detective takes out his gun. To be honest, I'm surprised these people weren't met with violent behavior from others besides the cop. Have people forgotten that this is a city with a very high rate of gun violence? Maybe so, given the level of gentrification in the U Street corridor. A snowball fight would not have even happened at this intersection 15 or even 10 years ago. Yes, I enjoy some of the outcomes of gentrification like the farmer's market, restaurants, and bars. But a snowball fight? No. I think DC police should have dispersed a crowd of this magnitude engaging in behavior that was just plain unsafe and stupid. And why a snowball fight? Do yuppies in DC have that much pent up aggression that they haven't released by posting angry comments to Washington Post articles?

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Web Site Down. I'm Done with Yahoo

Update (12/29/09): CityGirlDC.com back up and running! Domain transfer complete for well under $10/year.

Some of you may have noticed that CityGirlDC.com is currently unavailable. I'm in the process of switching to another web hosting service. So, for now, citygirldc.blogspot.com is the only way to get here. I'm switching service providers because I'm fed up with Yahoo Small Business Services. I'm not too happy with their personal email services either but I've had my account for so long, I'm not even going to bother with the hassle of getting rid of it. A few years ago, when I was even less tech savvy than I am now, I chose Yahoo for a business web site and hosting. They seemed to offer pretty user-friendly services and the package rate seemed like a good deal. Had I done a little more research, I would of gone with another company. By 2007, calling customer service became an ordeal. I once waited almost two hours to get someone on the phone. Up until last year, a domain name was $9.95/year. Not anymore. When my yearly fee was due this year, rather than send a reminder email to both email addresses listed on my account, they decided to send it to only one - the one that is no longer in service. I remembered the date and signed into my account to pay, only to see a $35 fee. I called customer support and in fact, the fee had really gone up that much! The rep couldn't give me a good reason why. Apparently the lower rates advertised are only for new customers. I don't get it. With all the cheap web hosting services out there, why would Yahoo think anyone would keep them? The person I spoke to didn't even seem eager to keep me as a customer. My transfer should be complete in the next few days.

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