Summer Produce from Mom

This past weekend was spent uncharacteristically at home, cooking. No, I haven't suddenly become a suburban housewife. I was actually really enjoying my solitude and being thankful for having such a great mom. My mom has been growing vegetables this summer and had an overabundance of produce. Even though she's only about four hours away, she knows how lazy I can be when it comes to packing a bag and getting on a bus. So, what did she do? She overnighted me a care package filled with beautiful tomatoes, basil, and zucchini! I've actually never gotten food in the mail, much less fresh produce! There was no way I was letting this stuff go bad so I immediately put my brain to work and hopped on the Internet in search of recipes. With an existing variety of staple pantry items, I now have no need to eat out or order delivery for quite a while. Of course, I will eat out but it's nice to have a fridge full of options.

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Things Men Say

I can't believe July is already over and I've survived the severe heat and humidity of July in DC. One thing I did smarter this year was not even attempting to blow dry my hair in this weather. I may not have gotten smarter about men but I survived my crazy experiences with them. Here's just a sample of the crazy (or funny) things I've heard from the mouths of men this month:

• I haven't worn underwear since '97. -Local singer/songwriter
• I call tattoos on women 'tramp stamps'. -Recent transplant from Boston
• For $750 million I would be a straight woman. -Gay guy friend on the Tiger Woods divorce
• Not sure why, but I find you interesting. -Guy asking for my number at a bar
• I masturbate almost every day. What can I say, I think I'm sexy. -Video editor friend
• I have the best excuse ever for not calling: I had a stroke. -Guy I went out with last year and ran into on the street
• And while he said it many years ago, I just heard Jenny Sanford tell Oprah recently that her ex-husband Mark Sanford told her that he didn't want the word 'faithful' in their wedding vows. That worked out well.
  

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Dude, Really?

The good thing about being single is that generally when a relationship is over, it's over. You can completely cut ties with the person. And especially when a relationship ends badly, you're very grateful for that fact. I was very happy to be done with a guy I dated a few months ago but unwisely had occasional sex with him. What can I say, we had strong physical chemistry. But about a month ago, I made the decision not to do that either and was truly cutting ties. I was trying to wipe the slate clean for something better. Good for me, right? Well, apparently this wasn't good enough for someone - his PREGNANT WIFE! Yes, this past weekend I got that crazy psycho call every single woman fears. Fortunately (or, maybe not) for me, I wasn't afraid because I've been there before several years ago. However, back then the circumstances were of the stereotypical kind: naive girl knows the guy is married, he claims he's not happy and the wife is a horrible person, and girl believes that he will leave like he claims. But I learned my lesson and knew I would never fall into that trap again. With all the other really ridiculous man-drama I experienced since, I figured I'd gotten my fair share of karma.
So, this was somewhat of a shock for several reasons. For one thing, I met several members of this guy's family, including his parents. I was at his parent's home (where he lived) several times. For a while we were spending so much time together that it was almost like we were living together. So, where was the wife during all of this? According to her, she arrived in the U.S. permanently several months ago. His response to this nonsense, including how she got my phone number: nothing. And surely his family was involved in this marriage. Um, could you have let me in on this bullshit? If there was a limit on the number of WTF?'s a person gets, I would have surpassed it now by a million.
Now I know this may sound ethnocentric, but I may need to add a category to the Who Not to Date List: men who are culturally different. Even though this guy, like his gazillion siblings, has spent the majority of his life in the U.S., we were just way too different. He was completely immersed in his family's life: lived with them, worked for them, socialized with them. They had a lot of control over him and I just didn't get it. I mean really, 6am phone calls from your mother? I don't' think I'm supposed to get any of this. All I know is that I'm starting to think that the years women spend dating in DC are like dog years. I may have to retire from dating altogether if I don't want to end up a senior citizen next year.

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Settling in DC

Back in February 2008, I blogged about my reaction to Lori Gottlieb's article in the Atlantic Monthly about single women and settling for Mr. Good Enough. I remember how pissed off and somewhat offended I was by the idea. Last night I attended the discussion of her new book, "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" at Sixth and I. I haven't read the book but was interested in hearing her talk about these ideas and hear what others thought. My biggest problem with the article was that the basic premise appeared to be that marriage to a man, no matter how boring or physically unappealing, is always a better option for women, especially those who want children, than being alone. Aside from the fact that I think DC just doesn't have a marriage culture, I think the premise calls into question whether the traditional family really is the best and/or only choice for women today, particularly those who live and work in big cities like DC.

One of my favorite quotes in the article is, "Marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business." For the women I know in DC and probably for many others, this is not the kind of marriage they are willing to sign up for. Many of these women are actually running their own nonprofit businesses and don't want a tedious, mundane spouse to come home to. As a lot of women have already done, why not reconfigure life for ourselves in a way where we do get all of our needs met without having to establish a traditional family. Because as many married women know and research has shown, women get much less from marriage than men do. Like many women in their 20's, I used to think I wanted to be married and have children. So I asked myself last night, what is it that I would really want from marriage and being a parent? What I came up with was: love, companionship, sex, and being involved in a child's life. When it comes to the love and companionship, I already get that from my friends and family. They also provide me with a rather fulfilling social life. The sex I can always get from a guy I actually do find physically appealing. And kids? Well, there all sorts of ways to be involved with a child that don't involve marriage: mentoring, hanging out with the children of friends and families, adoption, sperm donor, or even joint custody with a stable guy you know. Kind of like car sharing. Of course, these things may not satisfy all of our needs like maybe, the desire for romantic love. But I've begun to realize that romantic love isn't all its cracked up to be. The older I get the more it seems like an immature, manufactured notion. Me, jaded? Maybe. But anyway, the point is that I think modern women have no reason to feel forced to choose a lifestyle that doesn't fit.

And in DC, why settle for a mediocre cocktail? After the book discussion I headed straight to the Passenger where Nick Brown mixed up a lavender mint daiquiri for me (right). I noticed that on Sundays they're doing a hangover brunch that lasts all day. Now that's genius!

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No Exceptions

I know I've said this before but as time and age creeps on, one thinks that exceptions may apply but - hell no! When it comes to the , "Who Not to Date List", there are no exceptions. Seriously, law enforcement dudes are a no-no, especially for DC cops. Here's a text message exchange with a cop I met on the street recently. And please, remind me why I gave him my number. Drunk, horny, stupid, what? And yes, this is the exact wording.

Him: What's up, watch u up to?

Me: Nothing much

Him: Invite me over I'm bored watching tv

Me: My apt is a wreck. Wanna go for a walk?

Him: (after 20 minutes) Not 2nite got court in the mornin

Me: but didnt u just ask me to invite you over???

I got no response from him. Huh? Am I really supposed to be that stupid as to not recognize a booty call? Why don't men just ask for sex these days? It's much less insulting to a woman's intellect. Ok, so you don't really want to get to know me. You want to come to my place and hit it. Just say that. That way I can say yes or no and not feel like you think I'm a total idiot.

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Things Change and Stay the Same

I'm now officially on vacation from everything and have had time to collect some of my thoughts. The last two months have revolved around my regular job, the freelance thing, travel, and figuring out what city other than DC this City Girl should be living in. The where to live part has required some ongoing introspection. I have also felt rather uninspired (and somewhat guilty) about the whole "city girl living in DC" yet writing a blog thing. I mean really, if I'm trying to get the hell out, what do I have to say? Well, as life goes, I end up experiencing all kinds of crazy things I only would in DC that make me question my quest to leave or at least the reasons why.
In no important order:

The Town and Country in the Mayflower Hotel: 5 years ago I worked 3 blocks away and this was a regular happy hour stop for me and several co-workers. Haven't been since then. I stopped in last month and Sam, the infamous bartender, is still doing magic tricks and mixing up the best martinis in town. I was greeted with, "Welcome back. We missed you." How is that for service?

What I didn't know before moving to DC: I love interesting things in a bowl, particularly noodles with stuff. Variations consist of: pho, curry laksa, gamjatang, congee, udon noodle soup....Well, DC Noodle has fed my craving lately with their spicy noodle soup complete with ground peanuts, cilantro, bean sprouts, scallions, and two types of tofu - crispy and soft. Delicious!

Acadiana and TenPenh have two of the best patios in the city - breezy and comfortable. TenPenh even has a Sunday night happy hour from 5:30 until close. This is great for those of you who want to avoid the 9 to 5 crowd and have cocktails and small bites like kobe beef sliders later in the evening.

Shopping Euphoria - The Denim Bar at Pentagon Row. As many women know, shopping for jeans can be a traumatic experience. This place takes all the trauma away - even for a curvy girl like me. And yes, the word 'bar' is for real. I walked in, told the salesperson my dilemma, and was immediately offered a glass of wine while he quickly found jeans suited for me. Jeff was amazing. He demanded (I love forceful men!) that I come out as I tried on each pair for an evaluation. I ended up with a pair of Paige jeans that were perfect for work and partying.

How does marriage and motherhood give women automatic entry into sainthood/super-significance? And why do women validate this craziness? Beyonce, half-naked dancing on a stage, dates a man who "puts a ring on it." Crazy groupies on Basketball Wives are supposedly in a special club all their own because they have gotten married to the lying, cheating athlete. My own past ex-Mr. DJ marries a stripper and all of a sudden I'm the whore because I fooled around with him. More recently, I had a man declare, as I was kicking his ass out, that he would have "wifed" me. Is that even a word we are accepting now? That is, of course, if I had not been such a bad girl. What the hell?

Don't ever date a townie. A rule I should have learned years ago. Absolutely no one who has grown up in and has immediate family in DC, Maryland, or Virginia. Hey, these are things college women learn.

Seems as if there will never be another Red nightclub. I appreciate U Street Music Hall but as a house music head, it just leaves me wanting more. And really, who are these completely uncoordinated yuppies who knock drinks and you on the ground as they so-call dance?

I would never advise a woman who wanted to get married and have children to move to DC. Odds are, you just won't find that guy here. You can go out on dates with men from 25 to 80 all day, everyday (as I did recently all in one night). But get married and establish a family? Not likely.

Amazing art/music events like AudioTrip two weeks ago. DJ Spinna, Rich Medina, and live art, right up the street from me? Come on!

I have never truly been bored in DC. There is always something to do - or drink!

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Gay Straight Men

I used to think I knew exactly what the term "Gay Straight Men" meant. I now realize it's more than being metrosexual or an odd sexual tendency, or a feminine mannerism I can clearly detect. It's the man who engages in weird gossipy he said/she said bullshit and thinks it's a one-upmanship contest. If I were in my twenties maybe I would care but at this point in life I find it sad and pathetic that a guy I'm no longer interested in would resort to engaging in information gathering with another guy I was never interested in and then call me up to tell me shit that's barely half true in order to get back at me. The really weird thing is that while I was initially upset, I became increasingly intrigued by the idea that anybody could be talking about me like I'm some kind of celebrity. I started to love it actually. I feel famous almost. Hmmm...how many more men do I need to sleep with to make it on TMZ?

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Random Wednesday

At some point very soon, I will force time to slow down and not allow spring to fly by like a whirling dervish as it did last year and the year before, etc. and allow me to think clearly. Oh, how I wish I could. In the meantime, I only have random thoughts.

• I realized the power of our thoughts, which I need to remember for more important stuff: Two weeks ago I was on a date at Utopia listening to jazz and couldn't keep my eyes off the drummer. So cute! But he must be a baby, I thought. Unfortunately, I was much more interested in him than my date. Last night, said drummer approaches me at Patty Boom Boom and says he's seen me many times around town and was interested. We engage in a great conversation and flirt heavily. A date has been planned. And yes, he is a baby (24!), but oh well.
• What does a girl want? A 100 calorie cocktail, that's what! PS7s has just that. The other day I had the Skinny Gnome and was in love. I'm a gin drinker and love cucumber so this was the drink for me. Mixologist, Gina Chersevani is amazing!
• Why do sex phrases revolve around men being in power: bang, nail, screw, feed the clam (not my term)? How about, wrestling the snake? At least the woman is active.
• At a recent conference I met a guy at the hotel bar who said with the sincerest of eyes, that he "lives for the cuddle" - but only after sex. Lol. Interesting tactic for enticing women into bed! After hearing my dating history he also said that I take advantage of crazy men for sex. Well, that's a fresh new perspective.
• I'm absolutely loving my new Conair Mega Ceramic blow dry paddle brush. Where has this brush been all my life? For someone who has thick hair, I'm amazed at how this brush has cut down my blow dry time.
• How crazy is it that a blogger was threatened with legal action over a comment on her blog? I hate stupid shit. Won't be patronizing Du Vin de Bullshit. Power to UStreetGirl and all bloggers!
• Healthcare for all!!!

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Catching Up

I feel like the fog has finally lifted from the chaos that had become my life and I can actually breathe. The nice spring-like weather has certainly helped. And sure enough, the month of March has remained true to form. As I posted last year, the men are out and I'm juggling dates. While I haven't felt sparks with any of these guys so far, the good thing is that I'm getting a chance to try out a lot of places on my list. Yes, I know I'm late but I finally had dinner at Masa 14. We tried about ten different dishes and I can't say I'm a big fan of the food. The barbecued salmon and pork tan tan noodles were my favorites but they were just ok. This is not the place I'd go if I were hungry. But the atmosphere and bar list are great so I would definitely meet up here with friends for drinks. Last Saturday I met the same guy at Patty Boom Boom. I had been anxiously awaiting this place. I unfortunately forgot how much I dislike going out in DC on the weekend. At 10pm, this place was packed and I just wasn't feeling the crowd. The guy at the door suggested we come back on Tuesday when there's a live band. And that's exactly what I did. This time I was with a new guy and the atmosphere was much better. I loved the rum punch and the jerk goat patty but I thought the bass was just too overwhelming for the band. Don't get me wrong, I love bass but just not at the expense of enjoying the music. A few days later, I had a very relaxed evening with yet another guy at Room 11. I almost forgot how eager I was to try this place when I read about it a few months ago. I fell in love almost immediately. The place is indeed small but rustic and cozy - perfect for a date. I loved my food and the wine selection is great. We finished the evening at Passenger's Columbia Room. As I imagined, this place is fabulous. I can't even think of a better place to have cocktails. With all the activity lately, I am all too happy to spend this weekend catching up on laundry!

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Amidst Chaos

I love a pleasant surprise. This past week was chaotic in ways I can't and don't want to go into. Let's just say I survived. And through it all, there was a ray of hope. In addition to my normal work schedule, I took on some contract work that needed to be done in just a week. Broke girl needs work - she'll do it. So, I was exhausted and delirious, which of course means I made bad decisions like thinking I could relieve stress with an ex. Not. Why didn't someone warn me!!! The good thing is that as DC conferences go, there's always interesting people to meet. Lucky for me I met some folks from Barbados who now have me convinced that I should be living there. I may not go that far but I will definitely visit this summer, hopefully for carnival. This extended winter season in DC has been enough to speed up my search for my happy place.

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Twitter as Matchmaking Service

I just discovered an interesting latent function of Twitter, well at least for me: it can be used to weed out people you thought you might be interested in. I'm not a Facebook person but I'm sure that's also a good way. But what I think is even better about Twitter is that you get these quick little sound bytes into someone's personality, almost like speed dating. It's very spontaneous and makes you think hard about getting in exactly what you want you to say in 140 characters or less. And how did I realize this? Well, of course, because I started following someone I thought I might be interested in. Now I don't have to wonder. Thank you little, chirping blue bird!

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LOVE

Love is:
My friends
My family - no matter how much they get on my nerves
Having my own version of gamjatang in the fridge
Sade coming out with a new CD just when I needed it most
A DJ who makes me dance my ass off
Letting go of old patterns/ways of seeking love
My Blog/Twitter connections - who knew?
Starting over
Accepting what is
This song: You Gave Me Love (Unreleased Mix), Kenny Bobien, Basement Boys Anthology Disc 2
A heart that has not given up on love

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Snowed In

With all the snow in DC this season I'm starting to feel like I'm back in the Midwest where I grew up. I didn't like cold, snowy weather then and don't like it now. After eight years here, I still find it a little funny how this city seems to overreact to what is considered normal snowfall elsewhere. I mean really, the grocery store situation was ridiculous. Actually, buying up the entire store like the world is coming to an end makes way more sense for the few people like me who hate the grocery store and only buy a few things when they do go. But for most people, especially suburbanites who are at Walmart, Target, Costco and every other chain store every weekend, I just don't get it. You can't tell me those people didn't have food and toilet paper at home. Anyway.... So, rather than sit around my place and think about cleaning, and dwell on useless shit (will I ever find love; if I should move to Europe, cut off all my hair, take up smoking, and give myself a cool new name; why there are so many cake shows on TV; etc.) I decided to pack an overnight bag and hang out at my friend Jake's place all weekend (where I'm writing this post). If it weren't for my guy friends I think I would seriously start to believe that men weren't human. Still mildly nursing a breakup wound, Jake has supplied plenty of alcohol, chocolate liqueurs (who knew Jack Daniels and chocolate would be good), frozen junk food, movies, and tons of music including DJ mixes he's downloaded (right now I'm listening to Restricted Access #23 from Timmy Regisford). While Brazil would be an ideal escape from the Blizzard of 2010, I'm in a pretty good place right now. I hope everyone stays safe and warm!

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Failure to Launch

Between being back at my old job and getting reacquainted with that stress, and experimental dating, I almost forgot I had a blog. Leave it to me to awaken from my Lovahville slumber to the realization that I'm with Failure to Launch Guy. I'm beginning to think that if I keep dating, I will have met every loser guy character in a movie and on Sex in the City. My biggest beef with this one is that unlike in the movie, I was not being paid by his parents to get him to leave their house. Maybe I should have suggested that to them. He actually believed that they liked having him around and that out of several other siblings, he was the favorite. Well gee, why else would he be the only adult child still at home. While the mother seemed content using her 39 year old son as an errand boy, the father had completey given up and didn't even speak the times I saw him. Yes, he actually thought trips to his parent's house qualified as dates. The last straw was when he suggested that I do my laundry there. Let's see, I'm not in college anymore and those aren't even MY parents! At one point he told me that his mom wasn't speaking to him because he was spending so much time with me. Can we spell freaky? Oh, and I can't forget how he was always borrowing a family member's car, which he had to quickly return to the suburbs the next day. Probably the biggest benefit of all that extra money he saved not paying rent was being able to use it for his toy helicopters. And no, I'm not kidding. He had several that he even tried to fly around my tiny apartment. Yes, at this point you've got to be saying I was crazy for sticking it out as long as I did. Well, to be honest, I was getting a cheap thrill out of seeing just how bad it could get. I didn't really believe this guy was serious. I do love a good story, even at the expense of my own sanity. And I did get the funniest line I've heard in a long time from him. When I finally ended it, he reassured me that there was "a gang of broads" that wanted to fuck him. I didn't even know guys still used the term 'broads' anymore. My sister, who is now separated after 20 years and dating again, tried to one-up me with her story of a guy bringing a bottle of Nutcracker liquor on a date. At least he came with an offering.

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Hello 2010

With less than a week into the new year, I'm exhausted already. My initial goal was to have all of my cleaning, de-cluttering, organizing, and re-grouping done by the first of the year. As life would have it, that didn't happen. I have to admit that I've gotten pleasantly off track with a hot new guy. Yes, I have landed back in Lovahville. And this is a welcome change given that I was recently reflecting on how 2009, while filled with dates, was enormously sexless. I was beginning to believe that I was no longer capable of liking anyone. Well, I can definitely circle yes for this one. This year I'll also be returning to my old job. I'm actually looking forward to it. And I can't wait to try all the new restaurants popping up. How is it that I haven't been to Masa 14 yet? I did check out Againn before the year ended. My bartender, Jessica, was fantastic. She let me try several small batch gins that I had never heard of. I think Leopold's Gin is now my new favorite. I only had an appetizer so I can't really say much about the menu. But with its perfect location between the metro and my apartment, I'm sure this will be a regular stop.
While I generally don't make resolutions, this year I plan on not stressing as much, less procrastination, and much more travel. Happy belated New Year!

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Wish List

I have pretty much let go of the whole commercialization of the holidays.  It's just so damn tired. Is this really what religious holidays mean?  Standing in line at Walmart? Stressing over gifts for people you don't really like? Staying up all night wrapping a zillion toys for kids who won't play with them after a few days and would rather just know you love them? But anyway, I do love sharing Wish Lists with my friends and family just for the fun of it.  This year I decided to include stupid shit I don't want. Here it is:
What I Want :
Mary Green Silk Boy Pants underwear
I discovered these a few years ago at Filene's Basement but they discontinued them.  Then I found them at Nana on U St. NW, but they too stop carrying them after a while.  Very frustrating because these are the only panties I've found that completely fit my substantial butt ( yeah, I do have a big ole butt).  They don't ride up, get stuck, or show, even with low rise jeans - not much at least and even then, the only thing that shows is a little bit of really pretty lace.  They are a bit expenisve, but worth it.  You do have to take care of these babies. I wash them then hang dry. I would wish for the Week of Undies set of 7 with the day of the week embroidered on them, but I'd get too freaked out about not wearing the right panties on the appropriate day - too much stress.
Cuisinart DFP-7BC Original Food Processor
My new love of purees and pestos has made it necessary for me to move beyond the mini-prep that I've had for the past few years.  I guess it's just a matter of cooking maturation.  I need a bigger, better tool for what I want to do. Before the year is out, I'm attempting to do a sage pesto recipe. We'll see how that goes.
Any Le Creuset French Oven
The thing that I feel is most missing from my kitchen and life. They are useful and beautiful.
Sade's new CD
I know it won't be released until February of next year, but put my order in now! I have always loved Sade and the new single, Soldier of Love, is the kind of emotional work of art I expect from her.  She says what you can't or don't want to say about wanting love.

What I Don't Want
Booty Pop Panties
Who has seen this infomercial?  Absolutely hilarious!  They are "the panties thay make your booty pop."  No, I don't need padded panties. I have enough junk in my trunk.  Hence, the life-long search for panties that fit (Mary Green description above).  And no, my name is not Kim Kardashian.
A Snuggy
We've probably all seen these infomercials. I saw a Snuggy box at CVS recently and thought, who's buying these?  Until I have completely given up and have 10 cats, don't get me this, please!  The side of the box even showed a woman wearing one on a plane and the web site says they're good for sporting events.  Lol.  Who's doing that?
A South Butt Product
While I love this concept created by a college student as a play on North Face, no thanks.  I think it's a good idea to challenge the establishment in this way though, and he seems to be doing well.  I heard that North Face is not happy with this. Wish I had thought of the idea.
A Gucci Mane CD
I recently heard a teenager listening to a song with incoherent lyrics and a repetitive beat. He told me it was Gucci Man, which turns out is spelled 'Gucci Mane.'  Never heard of it.  Guess I really am old.  The only lyric I made out was, "Can't nobody feel me like I'm feelin' myself."  That's going to be my new phrase. Ha!

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The Rules

It's been years since I read The Rules but I still own a copy and I'm pretty familiar with most of them. I've heard all the criticism and can't say I agree with everything in it, but a lot of it makes since for single women. As many single women and men know by now, one of the rules is that a man should call for a weekend date by Wednesday. This is one of those rules that should be followed for a good reason. For example:
This past Thursday, after our dim sum dinner, Derek and I met up with Amanda at the Greene Turtle where a friend was bartending. A group of friendly guys who were just at the Wizards game came in. One of them bought me a beer and we got into a long conversation about basketball. He seemed nice enough and we talked about checking out a game together. So, we traded numbers. What I didn't expect was a text around 4pm on Saturday asking me what I was doing that evening. I was having one of those sit around and do nothing but laundry and TV Saturdays. I was bored and ignored the rule. When I agreed to "have a couple of drinks" with him, here's the text I got:

"Ok, great. I'll pick up a 6-pack and u can come over to my place. There's a documentary coming on that I can't miss."

I was initially planning to ignore this ridiculous request but I decided I wasn't going to let him off the hook. I texted him back and asked if that's his idea of asking a woman out on a date. He claimed that it wasn't and then asked if I wanted to go out later. Uh, no. Ladies, no matter how bored, it never pays to take the Saturday night bait.

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The Result of Transgressions

I got this pic in a forwarded email. I have a feeling it's making the rounds. Funny, but seriously, why do men get married when they know they're going to cheat? Staying single seems so much easier.

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Post-Thanksgiving Day Rant

Seems like every holiday I have the same issues. I've probably mentioned before how the holidays and all their hoopla annoy me. I just don't see the point in blindly following traditions that don't make any sense. I mean really, people do things during the holidays that they would never do any other time of the year just because that's what they've always done or that's just what people are expected to do. So once again, here's my roundup of holiday behaviors I don't get and/or get on my nerves:

• Getting up at 3am or camping out at a store to get some item you probably don't need that badly anyway. Consumer brainwashing.
• Sending out mass HAPPY HOLIDAY texts to people you no longer talk to and including women you've ended relationships with on a bad note. Clean up your contacts people!
• Visiting relatives you never see even though you've been living in the same city with them for years. Don't pretend we know each other only on a holiday.
• Giving out food to the homeless. Ok, this is nice but what are they going to eat for the rest of the year? How about a job.
• Cooking a whole turkey. Or, for that matter, cooking from scratch. Maybe if we did more of this throughout the year, some of these awful fast food chains would go out of business.
• Eating at 4pm. Who decided holiday dinners should take place this early?
• Treating people like freaks if they decide to spend a holiday like every other day of the year. If I want to stay home in my pajamas watching old episodes of Top Chef, order pizza, and drink beer all day, why not? No, I'm not just being difficult (as my mother would say) and no, that doesn't make me the sad, pathetic single girl. It's just my choice.

So, what did I do this Thanksgiving? Well, I did end up visiting relatives I never see any other time of the year and it was fun. But the point is, why not do this ANY time of the year? And don't even get me started on how this makes no sense when it comes to traveling long distance. As someone who went to school for years in another state from where my family lived, I have horror stories about traveling during the holidays.
But I can say that with all the people out of town during the holidays, going out in DC is a whole lot nicer.

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A Single Girl's Best Friend

I've decided that I'm adding to the list of the single girl's best friends. Other than her girlfriends of course, there is the gay guy friend, the straight guy she isn't attracted to, and her hair stylist. I now realize there is another: the married guy who feels guilty for not being what you want and need and for attempting to cheat on his wife and kids. Yes, he must have kids. This makes for even greater guilt and the perfect situation for you. The most significant line in this scenario is, "attempting to cheat." He must feel as if he can cheat with you but, you must never allow this shameful deed. That would ruin the whole friendship, you reason to him. You would never want to put him in such a terrible situation. You care about him that much. And really, it's not like you pursued him. They always find you - at work, the grocery store, the bank, the bar, a friend's party....As far as he's concerned, you 'go with the flow' at all times. You know all the cool places in the city for drinks, dining, dancing - places he's never been. You are open, fun, carefree, and can talk about anything....except his family issues. When it comes to that, it's a don't ask, don't tell situation. You just want to make sure he's having fun. And of course, he's having fun as long as you're having fun. And you're having fun as long as he's buying drinks, dinner, movie tickets, and giving you a ride home at the end of the night to make sure you get home safely. Yes, home to do what and who the hell you choose. Marriage really does work.

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