Things Men Say

I can't believe July is already over and I've survived the severe heat and humidity of July in DC. One thing I did smarter this year was not even attempting to blow dry my hair in this weather. I may not have gotten smarter about men but I survived my crazy experiences with them. Here's just a sample of the crazy (or funny) things I've heard from the mouths of men this month:

• I haven't worn underwear since '97. -Local singer/songwriter
• I call tattoos on women 'tramp stamps'. -Recent transplant from Boston
• For $750 million I would be a straight woman. -Gay guy friend on the Tiger Woods divorce
• Not sure why, but I find you interesting. -Guy asking for my number at a bar
• I masturbate almost every day. What can I say, I think I'm sexy. -Video editor friend
• I have the best excuse ever for not calling: I had a stroke. -Guy I went out with last year and ran into on the street
• And while he said it many years ago, I just heard Jenny Sanford tell Oprah recently that her ex-husband Mark Sanford told her that he didn't want the word 'faithful' in their wedding vows. That worked out well.
  

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Dude, Really?

The good thing about being single is that generally when a relationship is over, it's over. You can completely cut ties with the person. And especially when a relationship ends badly, you're very grateful for that fact. I was very happy to be done with a guy I dated a few months ago but unwisely had occasional sex with him. What can I say, we had strong physical chemistry. But about a month ago, I made the decision not to do that either and was truly cutting ties. I was trying to wipe the slate clean for something better. Good for me, right? Well, apparently this wasn't good enough for someone - his PREGNANT WIFE! Yes, this past weekend I got that crazy psycho call every single woman fears. Fortunately (or, maybe not) for me, I wasn't afraid because I've been there before several years ago. However, back then the circumstances were of the stereotypical kind: naive girl knows the guy is married, he claims he's not happy and the wife is a horrible person, and girl believes that he will leave like he claims. But I learned my lesson and knew I would never fall into that trap again. With all the other really ridiculous man-drama I experienced since, I figured I'd gotten my fair share of karma.
So, this was somewhat of a shock for several reasons. For one thing, I met several members of this guy's family, including his parents. I was at his parent's home (where he lived) several times. For a while we were spending so much time together that it was almost like we were living together. So, where was the wife during all of this? According to her, she arrived in the U.S. permanently several months ago. His response to this nonsense, including how she got my phone number: nothing. And surely his family was involved in this marriage. Um, could you have let me in on this bullshit? If there was a limit on the number of WTF?'s a person gets, I would have surpassed it now by a million.
Now I know this may sound ethnocentric, but I may need to add a category to the Who Not to Date List: men who are culturally different. Even though this guy, like his gazillion siblings, has spent the majority of his life in the U.S., we were just way too different. He was completely immersed in his family's life: lived with them, worked for them, socialized with them. They had a lot of control over him and I just didn't get it. I mean really, 6am phone calls from your mother? I don't' think I'm supposed to get any of this. All I know is that I'm starting to think that the years women spend dating in DC are like dog years. I may have to retire from dating altogether if I don't want to end up a senior citizen next year.

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Random Thoughts on Metro at 4:45 pm on a Thursday

I made the unfortunate decision of going out to Bethesda via Metro to do a little shopping on my day off at 4:45 pm on a Thursday. These were some of my thoughts:

• Why the hell do people pack themselves into Metro cars like sardines during the evening rush hour? This is especially ridiculous during a heat wave in July! In the morning I get it. You don't want to be late for work and every minute counts. But in the evening, when these government geeks are most likely doing nothing more than going home to a TV dinner and there's another train in two minutes, what's the point? And I don't care how long you showered or how much scented stuff you sprayed or slapped on your body that morning, by the end of the work day I don't want to be packed up against a bunch of folk. It's just plain funky!
• With yet another Metro fare increase, all I'm left to ask is: wtf? I mean really, has service improved? Are escalators being fixed? Will buses run on schedule? Will employees stop texting or sleeping while operating trains and buses? Are the trains actually any safer after last year's crash?
• Why don't more employers utilize telecommuting? And does every office worker really need to work from 9 to 5?
• On my left: rather obese woman with huge wedding ring holding the hand of a hot guy with a buzz cut. Both appear to be in their twenties. My take: they are a young married couple from the Midwest who met in high school and he's in the military. That just doesn't happen in DC. Guys in DC aren't even trying to marry women who like models with six-figure salaries. And yes, in his back pocket is a museum brochure. Tourists!
• Guy in front of me: why do men with frontal balding let the hair in the back continue to grow no matter how bad it looks? This guy had stringy gray hair in the back of his head that was almost at his ass. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?
• Woman on my right: appeared to be in her late 50's, holding a nylon lunch bag, head in hand and rubbing her forehead. Oh yeah, she knows exactly how many days until retirement.
• I'm often surprised bars aren't more crowded during happy hour. My choice for the next Mayor: the candidate who believes in the necessity of granting an alcohol allowance to every DC worker as much as I do. What else is DC government doing with my taxes?

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Settling in DC

Back in February 2008, I blogged about my reaction to Lori Gottlieb's article in the Atlantic Monthly about single women and settling for Mr. Good Enough. I remember how pissed off and somewhat offended I was by the idea. Last night I attended the discussion of her new book, "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" at Sixth and I. I haven't read the book but was interested in hearing her talk about these ideas and hear what others thought. My biggest problem with the article was that the basic premise appeared to be that marriage to a man, no matter how boring or physically unappealing, is always a better option for women, especially those who want children, than being alone. Aside from the fact that I think DC just doesn't have a marriage culture, I think the premise calls into question whether the traditional family really is the best and/or only choice for women today, particularly those who live and work in big cities like DC.

One of my favorite quotes in the article is, "Marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business." For the women I know in DC and probably for many others, this is not the kind of marriage they are willing to sign up for. Many of these women are actually running their own nonprofit businesses and don't want a tedious, mundane spouse to come home to. As a lot of women have already done, why not reconfigure life for ourselves in a way where we do get all of our needs met without having to establish a traditional family. Because as many married women know and research has shown, women get much less from marriage than men do. Like many women in their 20's, I used to think I wanted to be married and have children. So I asked myself last night, what is it that I would really want from marriage and being a parent? What I came up with was: love, companionship, sex, and being involved in a child's life. When it comes to the love and companionship, I already get that from my friends and family. They also provide me with a rather fulfilling social life. The sex I can always get from a guy I actually do find physically appealing. And kids? Well, there all sorts of ways to be involved with a child that don't involve marriage: mentoring, hanging out with the children of friends and families, adoption, sperm donor, or even joint custody with a stable guy you know. Kind of like car sharing. Of course, these things may not satisfy all of our needs like maybe, the desire for romantic love. But I've begun to realize that romantic love isn't all its cracked up to be. The older I get the more it seems like an immature, manufactured notion. Me, jaded? Maybe. But anyway, the point is that I think modern women have no reason to feel forced to choose a lifestyle that doesn't fit.

And in DC, why settle for a mediocre cocktail? After the book discussion I headed straight to the Passenger where Nick Brown mixed up a lavender mint daiquiri for me (right). I noticed that on Sundays they're doing a hangover brunch that lasts all day. Now that's genius!

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No Exceptions

I know I've said this before but as time and age creeps on, one thinks that exceptions may apply but - hell no! When it comes to the , "Who Not to Date List", there are no exceptions. Seriously, law enforcement dudes are a no-no, especially for DC cops. Here's a text message exchange with a cop I met on the street recently. And please, remind me why I gave him my number. Drunk, horny, stupid, what? And yes, this is the exact wording.

Him: What's up, watch u up to?

Me: Nothing much

Him: Invite me over I'm bored watching tv

Me: My apt is a wreck. Wanna go for a walk?

Him: (after 20 minutes) Not 2nite got court in the mornin

Me: but didnt u just ask me to invite you over???

I got no response from him. Huh? Am I really supposed to be that stupid as to not recognize a booty call? Why don't men just ask for sex these days? It's much less insulting to a woman's intellect. Ok, so you don't really want to get to know me. You want to come to my place and hit it. Just say that. That way I can say yes or no and not feel like you think I'm a total idiot.

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Random Wednesday

At some point very soon, I will force time to slow down and not allow spring to fly by like a whirling dervish as it did last year and the year before, etc. and allow me to think clearly. Oh, how I wish I could. In the meantime, I only have random thoughts.

• I realized the power of our thoughts, which I need to remember for more important stuff: Two weeks ago I was on a date at Utopia listening to jazz and couldn't keep my eyes off the drummer. So cute! But he must be a baby, I thought. Unfortunately, I was much more interested in him than my date. Last night, said drummer approaches me at Patty Boom Boom and says he's seen me many times around town and was interested. We engage in a great conversation and flirt heavily. A date has been planned. And yes, he is a baby (24!), but oh well.
• What does a girl want? A 100 calorie cocktail, that's what! PS7s has just that. The other day I had the Skinny Gnome and was in love. I'm a gin drinker and love cucumber so this was the drink for me. Mixologist, Gina Chersevani is amazing!
• Why do sex phrases revolve around men being in power: bang, nail, screw, feed the clam (not my term)? How about, wrestling the snake? At least the woman is active.
• At a recent conference I met a guy at the hotel bar who said with the sincerest of eyes, that he "lives for the cuddle" - but only after sex. Lol. Interesting tactic for enticing women into bed! After hearing my dating history he also said that I take advantage of crazy men for sex. Well, that's a fresh new perspective.
• I'm absolutely loving my new Conair Mega Ceramic blow dry paddle brush. Where has this brush been all my life? For someone who has thick hair, I'm amazed at how this brush has cut down my blow dry time.
• How crazy is it that a blogger was threatened with legal action over a comment on her blog? I hate stupid shit. Won't be patronizing Du Vin de Bullshit. Power to UStreetGirl and all bloggers!
• Healthcare for all!!!

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Catching Up

I feel like the fog has finally lifted from the chaos that had become my life and I can actually breathe. The nice spring-like weather has certainly helped. And sure enough, the month of March has remained true to form. As I posted last year, the men are out and I'm juggling dates. While I haven't felt sparks with any of these guys so far, the good thing is that I'm getting a chance to try out a lot of places on my list. Yes, I know I'm late but I finally had dinner at Masa 14. We tried about ten different dishes and I can't say I'm a big fan of the food. The barbecued salmon and pork tan tan noodles were my favorites but they were just ok. This is not the place I'd go if I were hungry. But the atmosphere and bar list are great so I would definitely meet up here with friends for drinks. Last Saturday I met the same guy at Patty Boom Boom. I had been anxiously awaiting this place. I unfortunately forgot how much I dislike going out in DC on the weekend. At 10pm, this place was packed and I just wasn't feeling the crowd. The guy at the door suggested we come back on Tuesday when there's a live band. And that's exactly what I did. This time I was with a new guy and the atmosphere was much better. I loved the rum punch and the jerk goat patty but I thought the bass was just too overwhelming for the band. Don't get me wrong, I love bass but just not at the expense of enjoying the music. A few days later, I had a very relaxed evening with yet another guy at Room 11. I almost forgot how eager I was to try this place when I read about it a few months ago. I fell in love almost immediately. The place is indeed small but rustic and cozy - perfect for a date. I loved my food and the wine selection is great. We finished the evening at Passenger's Columbia Room. As I imagined, this place is fabulous. I can't even think of a better place to have cocktails. With all the activity lately, I am all too happy to spend this weekend catching up on laundry!

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Amidst Chaos

I love a pleasant surprise. This past week was chaotic in ways I can't and don't want to go into. Let's just say I survived. And through it all, there was a ray of hope. In addition to my normal work schedule, I took on some contract work that needed to be done in just a week. Broke girl needs work - she'll do it. So, I was exhausted and delirious, which of course means I made bad decisions like thinking I could relieve stress with an ex. Not. Why didn't someone warn me!!! The good thing is that as DC conferences go, there's always interesting people to meet. Lucky for me I met some folks from Barbados who now have me convinced that I should be living there. I may not go that far but I will definitely visit this summer, hopefully for carnival. This extended winter season in DC has been enough to speed up my search for my happy place.

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Twitter as Matchmaking Service

I just discovered an interesting latent function of Twitter, well at least for me: it can be used to weed out people you thought you might be interested in. I'm not a Facebook person but I'm sure that's also a good way. But what I think is even better about Twitter is that you get these quick little sound bytes into someone's personality, almost like speed dating. It's very spontaneous and makes you think hard about getting in exactly what you want you to say in 140 characters or less. And how did I realize this? Well, of course, because I started following someone I thought I might be interested in. Now I don't have to wonder. Thank you little, chirping blue bird!

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Snowed In

With all the snow in DC this season I'm starting to feel like I'm back in the Midwest where I grew up. I didn't like cold, snowy weather then and don't like it now. After eight years here, I still find it a little funny how this city seems to overreact to what is considered normal snowfall elsewhere. I mean really, the grocery store situation was ridiculous. Actually, buying up the entire store like the world is coming to an end makes way more sense for the few people like me who hate the grocery store and only buy a few things when they do go. But for most people, especially suburbanites who are at Walmart, Target, Costco and every other chain store every weekend, I just don't get it. You can't tell me those people didn't have food and toilet paper at home. Anyway.... So, rather than sit around my place and think about cleaning, and dwell on useless shit (will I ever find love; if I should move to Europe, cut off all my hair, take up smoking, and give myself a cool new name; why there are so many cake shows on TV; etc.) I decided to pack an overnight bag and hang out at my friend Jake's place all weekend (where I'm writing this post). If it weren't for my guy friends I think I would seriously start to believe that men weren't human. Still mildly nursing a breakup wound, Jake has supplied plenty of alcohol, chocolate liqueurs (who knew Jack Daniels and chocolate would be good), frozen junk food, movies, and tons of music including DJ mixes he's downloaded (right now I'm listening to Restricted Access #23 from Timmy Regisford). While Brazil would be an ideal escape from the Blizzard of 2010, I'm in a pretty good place right now. I hope everyone stays safe and warm!

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Failure to Launch

Between being back at my old job and getting reacquainted with that stress, and experimental dating, I almost forgot I had a blog. Leave it to me to awaken from my Lovahville slumber to the realization that I'm with Failure to Launch Guy. I'm beginning to think that if I keep dating, I will have met every loser guy character in a movie and on Sex in the City. My biggest beef with this one is that unlike in the movie, I was not being paid by his parents to get him to leave their house. Maybe I should have suggested that to them. He actually believed that they liked having him around and that out of several other siblings, he was the favorite. Well gee, why else would he be the only adult child still at home. While the mother seemed content using her 39 year old son as an errand boy, the father had completey given up and didn't even speak the times I saw him. Yes, he actually thought trips to his parent's house qualified as dates. The last straw was when he suggested that I do my laundry there. Let's see, I'm not in college anymore and those aren't even MY parents! At one point he told me that his mom wasn't speaking to him because he was spending so much time with me. Can we spell freaky? Oh, and I can't forget how he was always borrowing a family member's car, which he had to quickly return to the suburbs the next day. Probably the biggest benefit of all that extra money he saved not paying rent was being able to use it for his toy helicopters. And no, I'm not kidding. He had several that he even tried to fly around my tiny apartment. Yes, at this point you've got to be saying I was crazy for sticking it out as long as I did. Well, to be honest, I was getting a cheap thrill out of seeing just how bad it could get. I didn't really believe this guy was serious. I do love a good story, even at the expense of my own sanity. And I did get the funniest line I've heard in a long time from him. When I finally ended it, he reassured me that there was "a gang of broads" that wanted to fuck him. I didn't even know guys still used the term 'broads' anymore. My sister, who is now separated after 20 years and dating again, tried to one-up me with her story of a guy bringing a bottle of Nutcracker liquor on a date. At least he came with an offering.

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Wish List

I have pretty much let go of the whole commercialization of the holidays.  It's just so damn tired. Is this really what religious holidays mean?  Standing in line at Walmart? Stressing over gifts for people you don't really like? Staying up all night wrapping a zillion toys for kids who won't play with them after a few days and would rather just know you love them? But anyway, I do love sharing Wish Lists with my friends and family just for the fun of it.  This year I decided to include stupid shit I don't want. Here it is:
What I Want :
Mary Green Silk Boy Pants underwear
I discovered these a few years ago at Filene's Basement but they discontinued them.  Then I found them at Nana on U St. NW, but they too stop carrying them after a while.  Very frustrating because these are the only panties I've found that completely fit my substantial butt ( yeah, I do have a big ole butt).  They don't ride up, get stuck, or show, even with low rise jeans - not much at least and even then, the only thing that shows is a little bit of really pretty lace.  They are a bit expenisve, but worth it.  You do have to take care of these babies. I wash them then hang dry. I would wish for the Week of Undies set of 7 with the day of the week embroidered on them, but I'd get too freaked out about not wearing the right panties on the appropriate day - too much stress.
Cuisinart DFP-7BC Original Food Processor
My new love of purees and pestos has made it necessary for me to move beyond the mini-prep that I've had for the past few years.  I guess it's just a matter of cooking maturation.  I need a bigger, better tool for what I want to do. Before the year is out, I'm attempting to do a sage pesto recipe. We'll see how that goes.
Any Le Creuset French Oven
The thing that I feel is most missing from my kitchen and life. They are useful and beautiful.
Sade's new CD
I know it won't be released until February of next year, but put my order in now! I have always loved Sade and the new single, Soldier of Love, is the kind of emotional work of art I expect from her.  She says what you can't or don't want to say about wanting love.

What I Don't Want
Booty Pop Panties
Who has seen this infomercial?  Absolutely hilarious!  They are "the panties thay make your booty pop."  No, I don't need padded panties. I have enough junk in my trunk.  Hence, the life-long search for panties that fit (Mary Green description above).  And no, my name is not Kim Kardashian.
A Snuggy
We've probably all seen these infomercials. I saw a Snuggy box at CVS recently and thought, who's buying these?  Until I have completely given up and have 10 cats, don't get me this, please!  The side of the box even showed a woman wearing one on a plane and the web site says they're good for sporting events.  Lol.  Who's doing that?
A South Butt Product
While I love this concept created by a college student as a play on North Face, no thanks.  I think it's a good idea to challenge the establishment in this way though, and he seems to be doing well.  I heard that North Face is not happy with this. Wish I had thought of the idea.
A Gucci Mane CD
I recently heard a teenager listening to a song with incoherent lyrics and a repetitive beat. He told me it was Gucci Man, which turns out is spelled 'Gucci Mane.'  Never heard of it.  Guess I really am old.  The only lyric I made out was, "Can't nobody feel me like I'm feelin' myself."  That's going to be my new phrase. Ha!

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A Single Girl's Best Friend

I've decided that I'm adding to the list of the single girl's best friends. Other than her girlfriends of course, there is the gay guy friend, the straight guy she isn't attracted to, and her hair stylist. I now realize there is another: the married guy who feels guilty for not being what you want and need and for attempting to cheat on his wife and kids. Yes, he must have kids. This makes for even greater guilt and the perfect situation for you. The most significant line in this scenario is, "attempting to cheat." He must feel as if he can cheat with you but, you must never allow this shameful deed. That would ruin the whole friendship, you reason to him. You would never want to put him in such a terrible situation. You care about him that much. And really, it's not like you pursued him. They always find you - at work, the grocery store, the bank, the bar, a friend's party....As far as he's concerned, you 'go with the flow' at all times. You know all the cool places in the city for drinks, dining, dancing - places he's never been. You are open, fun, carefree, and can talk about anything....except his family issues. When it comes to that, it's a don't ask, don't tell situation. You just want to make sure he's having fun. And of course, he's having fun as long as you're having fun. And you're having fun as long as he's buying drinks, dinner, movie tickets, and giving you a ride home at the end of the night to make sure you get home safely. Yes, home to do what and who the hell you choose. Marriage really does work.

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Astronauts Can Be Crazy Too

Lisa Nowak in court, with Colleen Shipman in the background. Photograph: Red Huber/AP

One of the nerdiest things about my past is that I actually wanted to be an astronaut. That lasted from adolescence to mid-high school. I have since changed quite a bit and could never imagine being an astronaut. But I think my feelings about that illustrate how we all have stereotypical ideas about people based on their careers. Like for instance, I wouldn't have imagined an astronaut engaging in behavior that would be shocking even for a Lifetime TV movie. When I heard this story two years ago I thought wow, how sad and pathetic. Relationships (or obsessions) can truly drive people to do crazy things. This woman, a mother of three, drove 1,000 miles in a diaper to attack and kidnap a woman simply because they were involved with the same man. What I'll never understand is why so many women will direct their anger at the woman and not the man in these situations. If this guy was being unfaithful, why didn't she deal with him? Now I've gotten back at a guy for cheating in some creative ways but I've never considered confronting the woman. What's the point? I wasn't in a relationship with her, and as much as popular culture would like us to, I don't believe women can steal men away. All too often the men are left unscathed from multiple relationships. And it doesn't send a good public message when the crazy woman doesn't even get jail time like in this case. Soon after the incident she was fired from NASA but this just goes to show that a person's occupation doesn't say much for their stability.

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What's Up With the Penis Pics?

It took me a while to process getting a cell phone picture of a guy's penis with the message, "take a sneak peek." I mentioned in my last post how we parted ways after talking about it. I had to think about it for a while before I posted about this and ask a few friends what they thought. My friend Leah in Ohio said that more than likely, men think it's a turn-on. My girl Janell in California was disgusted and accused men of bastardizing technology. My favorite reaction was from 20-something DC friend Bridget, who's gotten several of these. She finds them funny and has taken to using them as the photos attached to the guy's number in her phone. As she says, "I like to make it ring!" Gives new meaning to the expression, 'ring-a-ding-ding.'
I on the other hand, started thinking all sorts of things. My first reaction of course, was surprise. I mean really, who ever expects an unsolicited penis pic? Has this become normal? Back in September I mentioned that a guy at a bar showed me a picture of his penis that a girlfriend supposedly took. I didn't think much more of that since I would never have given this dude my number. But this time was different. I met this guy while out helping my cousin celebrate his birthday. And for the next three days we went out every day and had great (non-sexual) conversations and seemed to have a lot in common. From what I could tell, he was a cute, funny, never married, no kids-having IT nerd. Then I thought how juvenile it was for him to send that picture. I'm sorry, but this is just not appropriate behavior for a 37 year old man, especially after knowing a woman after only three days. Maybe 37 has become the new 16 for men. And then I had one other thought: the presentation was bad. It looked like he woke up with a hard-on and just whipped the thing out of his pants and snapped the picture. That's just lazy. And I've seen better looking penises. Didn't it ever occur to this dude that this was a little risky? What if this was a turn-off for me?
The next time I saw him, we did talk about it. And you know what the worst of it was? No, not that he didn't think it was a big deal. We also got into a conversation about relationships and what we were looking for. He said he wasn't fond of relationships and was just looking to have "fun." All I could do was laugh. A penis picture-sending freak is giving me the no relationship speech! I think it's time I stop giving out my number altogether.

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Weekend Recap: Three Men and a Lentil Stew

While the freelance work is steady, it's just not streaming in fast enough so a girl's got to be on a budget, which means eating and drinking at home way more often. I did a version of both Adventures in Shaw's and Fab Frugal Food's lentil soup - mine with spinach, sweet potato, and leftover beef ragu. With a big helping of brown rice, I could eat this for days. This was coupled with Barefoot Pinot Noir, on sale at my corner grocery store for $4.99. Not bad at all.

The owner of my favorite neighborhood restaurant that I used to do marketing for is married and apparently dating, seeing as though I got a late night booty call on Friday. Let's see, how does that work? You get married and then call any and every woman you know to get you off when the wifey is out of town. David Letterman, Steve Phillips…yawn.

I decided my Halloween costume would be the truth: a never married, childless woman, over 35, with a PhD, thinking she can make it on her own outside of the system, in DC. I will more than likely scare the Census takers away. But then, maybe not. This is DC.

Mr. "Cell Phone Penis Pic" and I parted ways on Saturday. Who gets into a long-term relationship with a guy who sends this kind of picture after just three days of knowing a woman? I don't care how cute, nerdy, and sweet you are, I just can't reconcile that with my psyche. More to come in my next post on this one.

Sunday night was drinks with Mr. Cheftastic, Chef-extraordinaire, Chef-egomaniac….whatever. I met this guy two years ago and have literally only hung out with him a handful of times because he is just so busy, busy, busy and life just can't exist without him at that damn restaurant. He was spouting the same BS but seemed a little calmer these days. We met at the bar in the Henley Park Hotel where I've been meaning to go since I moved to Shaw. It was convenient for us both but I've always had an obsession with hotel bars, especially quaint little historic ones like the Henley. This seemed like the kind of cozy spot where you would sip single malt scotch, and so we did. I'm not at all familiar with scotch so, sixteen-year-old Glevlivet was a new experience for me. Once again, I reminded him that my life will never magically transform to meet his every need but this was a nice ending to the weekend.

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Random Friday

Another random Friday folks because apparently I have more of these than coherent, singular thoughts these days.

• Wow, surprised and quite happy to see Mike Isabella get eliminated from Top Chef this week. Oh, c'mon, we all know he's a jerk and running into him last night at Clyde's with other restaurant heavies like my girl Gina Chersevani, didn't dispel that belief.


• Is there really a treatment facility for cheating? I heard Steve Phillips was entering such a facility but I didn't believe it. Are we really giving men this kind of pass?


• Is DC the only place where, "Do you a have security clearance?" is an acceptable pick-up line at a bar?


• On dating: Is courtship dead? Has it been replaced with text messages? Do men really expect meaningful conversation from a text messages? Have I become too old to date or care?


• I'm absolutely in love with the newly opened ChurchKey, on 14th St. NW and upstairs from jointly owned Birch & Barley. I went on Wednesday night and felt like I was in draft beer heaven. I haven't tasted the food yet but I can tell that I will definitely be a regular at this spot.


• Is it just me or is there something disturbing about a very pregnant (7 months) bartender?


• Good to see the start of basketball season. Nothing like scantily clad, sweaty men! But how many of you Wizards fans just know Arenas will get injured again and be out for the rest of the season? Go Pistons, Celtics, Bulls, or Miami!

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Random Thoughts Friday

• Why are there so many big dogs in DC, a city with so much small-space housing? Ok, maybe these people I see walking sheep dogs and greyhounds live in townhouses with backyards, but I doubt it. In fact, I've seen plenty of people coming out of buildings with units that I know for a fact are no more than 400 sq. ft. That's just animal cruelty.
• What was up with that crazy green 70's disco outfit Padma was wearing on this week's Top Chef? I'm almost sure there was a bit of cameltoe going on.
• Is it just me or is Project Runway boring as hell this season? Would it have been better on Bravo? Maybe, but there's no room with all the stupid Housewives. And more importantly, why does a 36 year old celebrity woman with several kids, who has been married for years, need to change her last name?
• Do single people in DC actually participate in Things To Do activities and do the Things To Do people ever find more men to participate in their singles events?
• Can someone please give Hillary Clinton a makeover? Rachel Zoe, where are you? I just can't take another putrid-colored pantsuit.
• Uh, no Barbara Walters, David Letterman is not "a very attractive man." I can only hope that none of his female employees risked losing their jobs or career advancement for not sleeping with him. Can you imagine seeing that goofy mug in the CBS hallways snickering the day after?

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Seen and Heard in DC

This past holiday weekend was fun and exhausting to say the least. It included birthday celebrations, a going away party, catching up with people I hadn't seen in years, and quite a bit of crazy. I don't know if it was the full moon on the 4th or resistance to summer coming to an end, but crazy was definitely on the loose. By Monday, I even came down with cold/flu-like symptoms and ended up in bed until today. Here are some of the things I saw and heard since last Friday:

• On the X2 Bus, woman sucking on a peach points to a guy in a security guard uniform and says loudly, "are they hiring?" After guy responds with a yes, she asks, "do they take you if you got a misdemeanor?" Guy says no. She says, "It ain't like I got a felony."
• While walking to the grocery store in flip-flops, capris, tank top, and ponytail, a cab driver slows down and asks me, "are you working?" Are all women prostitutes now?
• At a bar in Dupont, a really young and annoying guy is trying to hit on me. When I tell him I could be his mother he says, "I don't care about the exit, let's just deal with the entrance."
• At Utopia, a well-dressed, seemingly intelligent, non-drunk guy offers to show me something on his his cell phone. He shows me a picture of his penis taken by an ex-girlfriend. No words.
• Attempting to help a friend celebrate her birthday at Josephine on Sunday night, Baxter and I get to the door and they're charging $40! I forgot how crazy DC can be the Sunday night before a holiday. People willing to pay anything to get into wack clubs and get drunk since they don'thave to work the next day and clubs all to eager to rob them. We caught up with her later.

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Still on the High Horse

I am watching the Chris Brown interview on Larry King Live with a necessary glass of wine. The assault on Rihanna by Chris Brown was hard for me to hear about because I have personal experience with dating violence and know family and friends who have experienced either dating or domestic violence. I think these two young stars dealt with the aftermath of the incident terribly. I mean really, jet skiing at P. Diddy's? These two people have millions of impressionable young fans who needed to see this as a serious incident. But then, as far as victims of violence are concerned, trauma can make you do all kinds of things - including getting a gun tattoo. But anyway, I am having difficulty listening to Chris Brown who I think is just trying to save his career. I don't see the point of even having him on the show. He has said very little to nothing about his state of mind and reasons for why he behaved so violently. But then, this is not unusual for abusers. They tend to see their actions as justified no matter what anyone says and will continue to claim "love" for their victims. Like so many others, I think he is: delusional, insincere, in denial, defensive, immature, arrogant, and will most likely abuse again. Sadly, I think many of those characteristics also describe Rihanna. It seems as though many women don't wake up until well after their twenties and some never do. I think Brown, like so many others, unfortunately still believes that violence in relationships is just part of life and this belief is detrimental for both men and women. And why does his mommy need to be there or "keep an eye on him" while picking up trash in Virginia? This coddling of grown men by their mother, or other female relatives, is pathetic and a significant part of the problem. I don't think his sentencing or treatment will be effective. An "aberration?" I think he will hook up with another immature woman and he will hit her too. And like teenage girl-loving R. Kelly, female fans will be there to defend him and buy his music. Until we change our beliefs about violence, especially in intimate relationships in this society, nothing will ever change.

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