I made the unfortunate decision of going out to Bethesda via Metro to do a little shopping on my day off at 4:45 pm on a Thursday. These were some of my thoughts:
- Why the hell do people pack themselves into Metro cars like sardines during the evening rush hour? This is especially ridiculous during a heat wave in July! In the morning I get it. You don't want to be late for work and every minute counts. But in the evening, when these government geeks are most likely doing nothing more than going home to a TV dinner and there's another train in two minutes, what's the point? And I don't care how long you showered or how much scented stuff you sprayed or slapped on your body that morning, by the end of the work day I don't want to be packed up against a bunch of folk. It's just plain funky!
- With yet another Metro fare increase, all I'm left to ask is: wtf? I mean really, has service improved? Are escalators being fixed? Will buses run on schedule? Will employees stop texting or sleeping while operating trains and buses? Are the trains actually any safer after last year's crash?
- Why don't more employers utilize telecommuting? And does every office worker really need to work from 9 to 5?
- On my left: rather obese woman with huge wedding ring holding the hand of a hot guy with a buzz cut. Both appear to be in their twenties. My take: they are a young married couple from the Midwest who met in high school and he's in the military. That just doesn't happen in DC. Guys in DC aren't even trying to marry women who like models with six-figure salaries. And yes, in his back pocket is a museum brochure. Tourists!
- Guy in front of me: why do men with frontal balding let the hair in the back continue to grow no matter how bad it looks? This guy had stringy gray hair in the back of his head that was almost at his ass. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?
- Woman on my right: appeared to be in her late 50's, holding a nylon lunch bag, head in hand and rubbing her forehead. Oh yeah, she knows exactly how many days until retirement.
- I'm often surprised bars aren't more crowded during happy hour. My choice for the next Mayor: the candidate who believes in the necessity of granting an alcohol allowance to every DC worker as much as I do. What else is DC government doing with my taxes?