Still on the High Horse

I am watching the Chris Brown interview on Larry King Live with a necessary glass of wine. The assault on Rihanna by Chris Brown was hard for me to hear about because I have personal experience with dating violence and know family and friends who have experienced either dating or domestic violence. I think these two young stars dealt with the aftermath of the incident terribly. I mean really, jet skiing at P. Diddy's? These two people have millions of impressionable young fans who needed to see this as a serious incident. But then, as far as victims of violence are concerned, trauma can make you do all kinds of things - including getting a gun tattoo. But anyway, I am having difficulty listening to Chris Brown who I think is just trying to save his career. I don't see the point of even having him on the show. He has said very little to nothing about his state of mind and reasons for why he behaved so violently. But then, this is not unusual for abusers. They tend to see their actions as justified no matter what anyone says and will continue to claim "love" for their victims. Like so many others, I think he is: delusional, insincere, in denial, defensive, immature, arrogant, and will most likely abuse again. Sadly, I think many of those characteristics also describe Rihanna. It seems as though many women don't wake up until well after their twenties and some never do. I think Brown, like so many others, unfortunately still believes that violence in relationships is just part of life and this belief is detrimental for both men and women. And why does his mommy need to be there or "keep an eye on him" while picking up trash in Virginia? This coddling of grown men by their mother, or other female relatives, is pathetic and a significant part of the problem. I don't think his sentencing or treatment will be effective. An "aberration?" I think he will hook up with another immature woman and he will hit her too. And like teenage girl-loving R. Kelly, female fans will be there to defend him and buy his music. Until we change our beliefs about violence, especially in intimate relationships in this society, nothing will ever change.

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