Thursday, July 22, 2010

Dude, Really?

The good thing about being single is that generally when a relationship is over, it's over. You can completely cut ties with the person. And especially when a relationship ends badly, you're very grateful for that fact. I was very happy to be done with a guy I dated a few months ago but unwisely had occasional sex with him. What can I say, we had strong physical chemistry. But about a month ago, I made the decision not to do that either and was truly cutting ties. I was trying to wipe the slate clean for something better. Good for me, right? Well, apparently this wasn't good enough for someone - his PREGNANT WIFE! Yes, this past weekend I got that crazy psycho call every single woman fears. Fortunately (or, maybe not) for me, I wasn't afraid because I've been there before several years ago. However, back then the circumstances were of the stereotypical kind: naive girl knows the guy is married, he claims he's not happy and the wife is a horrible person, and girl believes that he will leave like he claims. But I learned my lesson and knew I would never fall into that trap again. With all the other really ridiculous man-drama I experienced since, I figured I'd gotten my fair share of karma.
So, this was somewhat of a shock for several reasons. For one thing, I met several members of this guy's family, including his parents. I was at his parent's home (where he lived) several times. For a while we were spending so much time together that it was almost like we were living together. So, where was the wife during all of this? According to her, she arrived in the U.S. permanently several months ago. His response to this nonsense, including how she got my phone number: nothing. And surely his family was involved in this marriage. Um, could you have let me in on this bullshit? If there was a limit on the number of WTF?'s a person gets, I would have surpassed it now by a million.
Now I know this may sound ethnocentric, but I may need to add a category to the Who Not to Date List: men who are culturally different. Even though this guy, like his gazillion siblings, has spent the majority of his life in the U.S., we were just way too different. He was completely immersed in his family's life: lived with them, worked for them, socialized with them. They had a lot of control over him and I just didn't get it. I mean really, 6am phone calls from your mother? I don't' think I'm supposed to get any of this. All I know is that I'm starting to think that the years women spend dating in DC are like dog years. I may have to retire from dating altogether if I don't want to end up a senior citizen next year.

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