Mating Season and the Modern Panda

I saw a news report yesterday about the artificial insemination of the female giant panda, Mei Xiang at the National Zoo and it got me to thinking. Apparently, it's been very difficult for her to get pregnant since pandas are generally sexually inactive. One of the zoo doctors said that she "doesn't assume the brooding position which makes it very hard for the male". At a zoo in Thailand, the male hasn't been cooperative either. According to a report last April the male was shown videos of pandas having sex but this didn't help. The director general of the Thai Zoo said that he just didn't want to mate and was looking at the female as a friend. And even artificial insemination hasn't worked very well. So why are we trying so hard to get these pandas to mate? Tourist revenue, human amusement? I have issues with keeping wild animals locked up in an artificial environment but I will leave that alone for now. I do think these pandas have the right idea. First of all, I strongly believe that friends should not be having sex. I am not an advocate of the whole "friends with benefits" phenomenon. For me, a friend is a friend. Why blur the lines? And why would the female panda want to be pregnant? Most women I know go to extreme measures not to get pregnant until they have decided the time is right. She's probably still enjoying her single, childless life climbing trees and eating bamboo all day. And she may not think the male panda would make a good father. Then too, she's already pretty huge so I'm sure she doesn't want the extra baby weight. Women get awfully cranky in that last trimester. My 9-months pregnant sister almost ripped me a new one when I joked about how big she had gotten. I don't think Mei Xiang wants a bunch of people gawking at her when she's dealing with swollen ankles that she can't even see over her gigantic belly. Even humans can't come up with good reasons for having kids. Ask enough parents and I'm sure they will tell the zoo keepers to just give those pandas a few shots of Patrón. Couple that with the panda porn and we'll be seeing some bouncing baby pandas in no time!

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