Men and Clowns: Yet Another Saturday Night in DC

Last month I read that Bozo the Clown died at 83. It made me think about something my grandmother said to me during one of my last visits with her before she died. She was in her late 90's and I was in my late 20's. At my age, she had been married for many years and already had several children. I had done neither. I hadn't seen her in a while and I arrived with my married sister with her two children. When she realized I was still single with no children, she said: "They haven't been able to trick you yet, huh?" She was referring to men. I was taken aback for a moment but then laughed it off. My mother was quite amused as well. And for good reason. During one of my episodes of being heartbroken by a guy in my 20's, my mother told me that she thought clowns were evil and that men often resort to behaving like clowns. Yeah, who wants to date a bozo? It took me a while to figure out this behavior.

Tonight, I find this to be very true yet again. Why, why, why, do I continue to get calls from men after midnight asking me what I'm doing when I have asked them to stop doing that? And no, this is not male bashing, as some of you might say. This is me telling the truth as I see it. And no, I did NOT give dudes a reason to call me this late, as some might say (you know who you are). Just because I go out with friends or by myself after midnight does not mean that a man should call me at that hour to spend time with me when we haven't even been on a date. Hmmm....let's see. How about call the day before even, which is still rather late and inappropriate, and ask me out. How is this related to clowns? Well, here's what really bugs me. Why, why, why, why do these guys try to trick me into believing this is all innocent. Yeah, they just thought I might be hanging out already. Or, they just thought I might want company. Right! Might as well slap on the wig, white paint, and big floppy shoes! That's just a lazy and obvious form of trickery. If you wanted a booty call situation, then just say it. For the love of all women, don't try to trick us into believing it's something else. Come on, I'm in my 30's. On too many occasions, men have tried to trick me with regard to their children, wives, fiances, girlfriends, living arrangements, jobs, you name it. Other clown similarities? I have noticed that men like to do tricks (I was once on a date with a guy who did card tricks at the bar) and sometimes turn tricks (prostitutes), which of course would mean that they might just give you trich if you're not careful.

And while this is merely a generalization about men, it does beg the question as to whether or not women really are being tricked when it comes to marriage. Happily ever after? Honest and true? Monogamy? Just ask John Edwards' wife. Apparently, she was tricked into believing his affair was "their" private matter. No, it's called politics and it was his dick.

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