Saturday, September 15, 2007

Free

On a random Friday night, broke and jobless while pursuing my creative freedom, I managed to eat and drink very well for free.
After a week of detoxing my body (bi-annual sinus/allergy sickness) and social life, I needed a night out. I had just come to the realization that after several years in DC, not only did I not currently have a significant romantic relationship with a man, I had no real male friends. I have never had any real male friends in this city. And believe me I tried. I tried on numerous occasions to cultivate male friendships but they all failed. They could never get past the absence of sex. The longest running "friendship" I had was with fun-loving, international Lou. But a few days ago that fantasy ended. His words, actions, and my mind were finally clear. I guess my mother was right. Men and women can't be friends. (Tell me what you think)
So, I needed some camaraderie and hung out for a while with my neighborhood friends at the sports bar up the street. This included married store owner guy. He walked me home and I triumphantly announced that there would be no drunken kissing like the last time. Not now or ever! Really, I'm just not that kind of girl. And besides, I've been there and done that once before. Foolishly thought I was in love. In a sober, wiser state, you understand how fooling around with a married man is like putting on someone else's dirty underwear. But that's a whole other issue I'll talk more about later. Anyway, I wasn't tired and needed a little more night out. Sometimes a girl needs a little more.
I felt the need to celebrate that I had not lost anything but gained a sense of reality. Lou was never really my friend. I felt free. There was not one guy I felt tied to in any way. Nothing was going to dramatically happen or change with anyone I had met in this city. I was starting at zero. And it felt good.
Thank goodness for Jerry who had just finished playing pool when I got to my destination. I have no idea what he talked about but after two drinks and an early morning breakfast at The Diner, I was ready to go home and soundly sleep it all off.

Sphere: Related Content

No comments: