Seasons Change

Over the last few days I celebrated the arrival of fall, National Singles Week, and the fact that I had extricated myself from all fantasies about the men I knew including friends and the guy I couldn't seem to get over. I was done with them all. And how symbolic given that with fall comes the shedding of things.

And celebrate we did! Kim, Megan, and I embarked on a four-day marathon of scoping out cute guys, dancing, laughing, and drinking to all hours of the night. Here's how it all played out:

Thursday

• We started the night at Cap City Brewery since it's Ladies Night on Thursday. Pretty uneventful but good half-price martinis.
• We then took the party to U Street stopping briefly in a couple of places but nothing peaked our interest.
• Next up was Adams Morgan. Tired and thirsty from our hike, we stopped at Bourbon for beer and to chat with my favorite AdMo doorman. We agreed that this seemed to be a very dull Thursday night in DC. Seated by the window facing the street we searched in vain for hot guys. Just as we were contemplating calling it a night, two odd but interesting guys walk in and strike up some conversation.
• Hunger had finally set in so we all (minus Megan) headed to Alberto's, whose recent presence on 18th St. has saved many from those horrid jumbo slices.
• With new found energy, Kim and I joined our companions for drinks and dancing to reggae at Bukom. By 2am, we were both ready to head home.

Friday

• With no real plans, we decided to wing it and just go with the flow. Kim met at my place after work to change into party clothes. There was a tasting at the wine shop up the street so we stopped there first.
• I always run into familiar faces there and a group of folks were going to hang out at Rumors that night. We figured, why not? Megan showed up and we waited for the club to fill up. Things were not looking good. The only men in our vicinity were either married or grossly obese. Luckily we had a steady supply of free drinks but decided to move on to the next place. On our way out, we were stopped by a group of young Army guys on the patio who were ready to party! We just couldn't resist being challenged to a dance-off and went back inside. Even though we danced until our feet were aching, we were not ready to call it a night just yet.
• The night ended at Steve's Bar Room with much less dancing and barely awake.

Saturday

• We all decided that tonight would be low-key and an early night. We met for a friend's birthday party at Oya. Megan and I got there late and managed to strike up an interesting conversation at the bar with "international man of mystery" guy. He mentioned a spot he was going to check out and gave me an idea for our next stop.
• The Space is a chic garage turned lounge with a rooftop deck that fit our low-key intentions for the night. It's also new enough to still be cool. I ended up seeing lots of familiar faces including my favorite local recording artist, Raheem Devaughn. Seeing him was enough for me. According to Megan, I squealed when I saw him. She on the other hand, was finding love on the roof. While low-key, this was not an early night. I didn't get home until 3am.

Sunday

The night began early as Kim and I wanted to take advantage of at least one last hour of sunlight. What better way to do that than by checking out all the people and boats at the Washington Harbour. We grabbed a spot at Sequoia's riverfront bar and reviewed the events of the weekend while scoping out the men. We talked to several nice but unappealing guys for most of the night but just before leaving I noticed from across the bar, the most beautiful man ever! I was talked into being introduced which wasn't difficult after several strawberry daquiris. This guy was even better looking up close. He took my hand, and like a couple of giggling sixteen year olds, Kim and I were walked to the car by beautiful man and his friend. Before we said goodnight, he put his number in my phone and took mine. Needless to say, I slept very well that night.

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National Singles Week

Much to my amazement and delight, I recently discovered that there's a whole week dedicated to being single! September 19-25 is officially Unmarried and Single Americans Week. The week was "started by the Buckeye Singles Council in Ohio in the 1980s to celebrate single life and recognize singles and their contributions to society" according to the Unmarried America web site.

Obviously this week is not widely publicized because no one I spoke with, married or single, had ever heard of it. One journalist offered her perspective on Yahoo Personals. She offers a clue as to why few people know about the week. As any single person knows, despite our growing numbers, there is still a stigma attached to being single. This is strange given society's general opinion of marriage. It's long been common practice to denigrate married life in popular culture. In television, movies, and in reality married life is portrayed as being a boring, sexless, life-sucking, prison-like hell of blaming someone else (spouse) for everything that 's wrong with one's life. You would think married people were forced down the aisle with a gun to their heads. Even more ridiculous is the contradiction of a billion dollar wedding industry coupled with an ever increasing divorce rate. Among the married people I know and those I meet, not one is happy. And few are committed given the rate at which I am propositioned by married men. Funny how this week comes at a time when I almost violated one of the most significant singles rules: Never go back. There is always a good reason why that relationship went bad like so much rancid meat.
So I say, singles be happy! We have successfully managed NOT to get legally locked into a questionable institution. Go out and celebrate!

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Where Will All the DC Fashionistas be on October 3rd and 4th?

Girls Night Out Shopping Event: Oct. 3rd & 4th, 2007 at Constitution Hall


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Date: Wed. Oct. 3rd and Thurs. Oct. 4th, 2007
Time: 5pm-10pm
Place: DAR Constitution Hall, 1776 D St. NW (17th & 18th Sts. NW)
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Free

On a random Friday night, broke and jobless while pursuing my creative freedom, I managed to eat and drink very well for free.
After a week of detoxing my body (bi-annual sinus/allergy sickness) and social life, I needed a night out. I had just come to the realization that after several years in DC, not only did I not currently have a significant romantic relationship with a man, I had no real male friends. I have never had any real male friends in this city. And believe me I tried. I tried on numerous occasions to cultivate male friendships but they all failed. They could never get past the absence of sex. The longest running "friendship" I had was with fun-loving, international Lou. But a few days ago that fantasy ended. His words, actions, and my mind were finally clear. I guess my mother was right. Men and women can't be friends. (Tell me what you think)
So, I needed some camaraderie and hung out for a while with my neighborhood friends at the sports bar up the street. This included married store owner guy. He walked me home and I triumphantly announced that there would be no drunken kissing like the last time. Not now or ever! Really, I'm just not that kind of girl. And besides, I've been there and done that once before. Foolishly thought I was in love. In a sober, wiser state, you understand how fooling around with a married man is like putting on someone else's dirty underwear. But that's a whole other issue I'll talk more about later. Anyway, I wasn't tired and needed a little more night out. Sometimes a girl needs a little more.
I felt the need to celebrate that I had not lost anything but gained a sense of reality. Lou was never really my friend. I felt free. There was not one guy I felt tied to in any way. Nothing was going to dramatically happen or change with anyone I had met in this city. I was starting at zero. And it felt good.
Thank goodness for Jerry who had just finished playing pool when I got to my destination. I have no idea what he talked about but after two drinks and an early morning breakfast at The Diner, I was ready to go home and soundly sleep it all off.

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A New School Year

Hello All!,

Why do I always feel nervous in September? Ok, I am a true nerd and always wanted to do well come the new school year. There was always so much pressure for me about being the best and the brightest in my class. This of course explains why I ended up in a prep school in New England straight out of the "hood" and years later out of grad school in DC with all the brainiacs but it doesn't explain how I've ended up here - in the place I want to write about. Different, wild, unexpected, strange, beautiful, nonsensical, revelatory, and connected in so many ways to people and things I never would have imagined. This represents a journey I continue and want to share... All I can or want to say is join me and share your experiences. Because truly, what else is life about other than the shared experience of being human!

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